[Nagito is one of the last to filter out of the room after the meeting; he's spent most of it against the wall, except for diversions like writing on the chalkboard and arguing with Dankovsky, and he seems willing to keep up this observational mode all the way through to the end.
But he catches Sunny before he leaves.] So, if we go into one of the other shelters now, nobody should notice. I won't take too long!
[Even as Nagito caught him, Sunny felt his heartbeat increase. He knew this was coming, had agreed to it, and…
He couldn’t back out now. Mari would probably agree that it was better to get it checked (and somehow Nagito checking his eye out was less scary than Mari or Mr. Dankovsky doing so).
So Sunny nodded like usual, letting Nagito pick where they would go for privacy. He… hadn’t really looked into the other makeshift rooms, knowing only the one he and Mari stayed in for sure.]
[Nagito leads Sunny to the one he's been using. It's the smallest one--Nagito picked it specifically because he assumed nobody else would want it. It's impressively clean inside. He herds Sunny to a chair.] Can you get that cloth off yourself? I want to clean that, while it's off. I can give you something temporary to use while it dries. Don't worry, I'm confident in my cleaning abilities.
[Sunny obediently sits in the chair, nodding. He could take it off. And… he opened his mouth to say so but… his voice was stuck in his throat.
It wasn’t Nagito’s fault, Sunny reasoned, as his hands shook while he removed the blindfold. He was mostly comfortable with Nagito. It was just…
Sitting in a chair like this. Questions simply being asked of him, simple actions to be done… it felt a lot like the doctor’s. Or therapy. And even though Sunny focused on taking calming breaths, on moving slowly, on the task at hand… that didn’t make a difference to his mind.]
[Sunny shakes his head, the situation still rendering him mostly mute.
It doesn’t hurt… it hadn’t since the hours after he had left the River upon arrival. That was something to be thankful for, right?
And yet… the memory of it, the idea that it could hurt, the thought that someone might be disgusted if he took that scrap of fabric off or if it had gotten worse…
That scared him.
What if Nagito was freaked out when he looked at it? What if he didn’t want to spend time with Sunny anymore afterwards?]
Alright, that's good! Pain can be a sign of infection, after all! [He sits down across from Sunny. There isn't a hint of squeamishness in his expression.] Now, can I see? Can you open your eye? If you can't, it's fine. Wounds act kind of weird here, anyway.
[Oh, good to know. Sunny wasn’t sure if the lack of any discomfort in Nagito’s expression was calming or concerning. Better that he wasn’t freaking out though.]
‘Weird’…? [How were wounds weird here? Focus on that, not on how his hands are still shaking as he unknots the back of the strip of fabric.]
All of the injuries the others got during the Crossing healed immediately. And I can't speak for anyone else, but I know my arm's hardly bothered me while I've been here. [He glances at his mechanical arm. He hasn't had any phantom pain at all since he arrived, and no soreness in his scars.] So it could be that your eye is a lot better than you're imagining, even if you can't use it!
[Nagito’s explanation… actually helped to calm Sunny a bit. Could it be better than he was imagining? The teen certainly had an overactive imagination, he would be the first to (silently) admit that.
So his hands trembled a little less, his breaths a bit surer, as he nodded.]
O-ok…
[It wasn’t really a response, more the small admission that Sunny could get out of his tight throat. Progress, though.
Even as he hesitated for a few moments to attempt opening his eye.]
[Kel never had to be a protective big brother: He was the one kept safe by Hero and Sally didn't need protection, his parents wreright THERE. But Sunny? And Mari? After all that happened, Kel refused to let themon their own, so he didd notice Mari leave with Frieda (Someone he trusted, actually) and shortly after... Sunny with Nagito.
Did he feel like a nagging grandma when after a bit he decided to go check on them? Did they leave because Sunny was feeling overwhelmed? Did Kel managed to somehow miss it? He... checked with the other presents and started then moving toward the shelter where he saw the two going. Knock knock against one of the walls as he peered in-]
Hey... everything okay over here? Just checking on everyone.
[Lies. But hey- he DID pretend to care about others as much as he did toward the other two teens from Faraway]
[Nagito is just examining Sunny's eyelid--might as well while Sunny works up the courage to actually open it--when he hears the knocking and, almost immediately after, Kel's voice. He turns, smiling.]
You know, you're really supposed to wait until someone says you can come in after you knock.
[Sunny’s heart jolts in his chest - is that still a thing that happens? It feels like it - when he hears that knock, and one hand quickly flies up to cover his eye. He’s almost relieved as Nagito turns to address the person who enters, as his body is stuck between some mixture of paling and flushing, the tips of his ears burning while the rest of him feels jittery again.
It was just Kel. That fact should have relaxed him. It shouldn’t matter, because Kel had already been there, his friend already knew (not that Sunny had allowed anyone to look too closely at his eye anyway, but Kel knew), and yet…
The teen wasn’t sure why he felt afraid. Maybe it was because the memory held such a bad experience for the both of them. For Sunny, first hand, as he vividly remembered that flash of silver glinting off an otherwise dark room.
But Kel… Kel had been in the house too. He must have heard the struggle from the other room, blocked by a door that wouldn’t open, held by Something that wouldn’t let Sunny leave-
And suddenly the room they were in felt too tight, his lungs too small, the air too hot-]
[Right. He should have knocked- Kel just had an instinctive hatred for doors by that point... or stuff getting generally in the way between himself and the people he cared about.]
Well, it's not like anyone around here has any privacy, buddy. I'm getting used to that, I admit, it's nice. Beside that one time one of us started snoring and I was trying to rest nearby, who knew we still had the ability to sleep!
[And things were... tense. A glance in Sunny's direction and he knew he messed up- he looked so tense. What.. were they even talking about? Oh- oh the eye was uncovered. It did make his heart skip a beat and not in a positive way- fortuantely enough, Kel was getting better and better at pretending eveything was fine.]
Oh, I see, checking on your status? That's nice and very smart of you two. I just assumed that since stuff doesn't seem to hurt here, it was okay, but...
[He didn't dare to ask. He couldn't. That night? He was never going to forget it it, even if the door opened so easily for him -the fastest of their group and the first one to rush in-.Well, that wasn't completely true, everything felt like a blur and he knew memories couldn't stay, but the feelings of that moment? They still sit in his chest. The fear, the confusion, the rage as he pushed Basil away from Sunny's body, the way he ended up staring in the mirror as his clothes were stained in his friend's blood... but at least it wasn't as bad as the event that ended their lives.]
Hey, no need to look like this. I promise I like all of my best friend, even if you're spaceboy coded now.
[Yep.The air in the room was suddenly too warm and he felt like he couldn't breathe, but Kel refuses to back away unless asked to.]
[Nagito reaches out without looking to a nearby table, where he grabs a paper bag. Then he does turn to Sunny.] Breathe into this. It's not just an old wives' tale, it really does help.
I figured I'd take a look at Sunny-kun's eye, to make sure it was doing alright. I've seen worse, so for me it isn't--
[He looks back at Kel again, casually, and pauses.] Do you want a paper bag, too?
[Sunny’s vision began to darken at the edges, so Nagito’s instructions aren’t overly clear at first. The other is holding out a bag… and when he takes it, his hands are trembling.
Dark eyes stare at the bag before Nagito’s words register, a bit belated. He breathes in and out, in and out… and whatever Kel and Nagito say blurs into background noise. He feels less like puking though, and the tension slowly leaves his body, replaced by an echo of remorse.
He may be holding the bag in front of his face to hide if he doesn’t puke in it…]
[Does it really? Kel has seen it on movie but it always seems.... just there for making a scene? The teen waited there, by the door, not sure if he wanted to go in and try to reassure Sunny or not-]
I'm... good. Again, nothing there of Sunny can me me uncomfortable. No bag for me. Can I step closer?
[What a goddarn lie. But he is playing the part of the perfect friend, as long as he can at least, so there's that.]
Breathe, Sunny, it's all okay. You're between friends and nothing is wrong.
[Nagito stands up; he only has two chairs.] If you'd like to sit down, I don't mind. Whatever Sunny-kun would like. I don't mind standing!
[Nagito doesn't really think Sunny has it in him to make Kel leave, but maybe the control will help Sunny calm down? Also, Nagito currently judges himself the least likely to pass out in this room.]
[Was that his fault? Kel bit his own lips and shok his head. He was still pretty much standing by the door and not moving in.]
Nah, you two can have the chairs. I just- you know. I'm trying to keep tabs on people. Making sure you're all okay- not sure what I can do more but duh.
[He felt... like a total idiot?]
Let's give our friend a moment to calm down, mh? Is everything... okay, overall?
[Nagito sits back down.] Well, if you do have to sit for whatever reason, you can use the bed!
[Nagito has found bedding for it and made it perfectly. It's possible he found sheets exclusively so he could make the bed.]
The eyelid looks fine. [Nagito was able to get a look at that, at least.] And I already told him, but I'm going to clean that piece of your shirt Sunny-kun is using, but I'll give it back once I'm done. Whenever Sunny-kun is ready I'll take a look at the rest of it.
[Kel and Nagito's conversation is still droning on, like background music. Pleasant, low, a constant sound...
Sunny attempts to give Kel a thumbs up. It's shaky, but... progress.
And then one word Nagito mentioned sinks in: bed.]
Ah...
[He lets out a small noise at the realization. Maybe if he could just... relax. Somehow. Then he wouldn't have to be here and...
The thought of that - the sheer possibility of it - has Sunny standing on shaky legs, the paper bag still clutched tight to his chest. Hopefully the others didn't have a problem with him pretty much flopping face-first onto said bed (was it Nagito's? Should he have asked? Too late to do so). They could have the chairs.
(The mattress was solid, not new, but it certainly didn't feel like it was broken in. No indents where there should be - either someone hadn't slept on this one or everyone was lighter when they were dead. The sheets made it bearable. 6/10)
Somehow the teen flipped over, going from beached whale to laying solidly on his back staring up at the ceiling. His right eye, the injured one, was closest to the edge of the mattress. That... should make it easier, right?
No explanation given though, and Sunny is just awkwardly laying there now...]
[He just... stood there by the door.] I'm good, really, I'm doing a lot of sitting around. There isn't much to do around this place.
[And he... listened. Nodding.The eyelid was fine, that was... better than he thought, but then again...]
It's not surprising, there were doctors... huh... handling it. They knew better than I do for sure.
[There were far too many memories of that night he wanted to push away, but knowing Sunny was in good hands had been... reassuring at least.]
And, wait. This one will not disappear so... if you want I can give another piece of shirt? I need to get a new one anyway but there are corners that are still decent and he may have a change? I'm just asking for his comfort here, really.
[And then Sunny is up, walking and... flopping in bed. He's silent for a couple of seconds and then lets out a small chuckle.]
Looks like someone claimed it already- which, honestly? its good to see.
[Nagito watches as Sunny collapses onto the bed. Well, alright then. Nagito stands so he can move his chair over beside the bed.]
If you rip up much more of that shirt you might as well go around shirtless. [Nagito sounds amused by the idea.] Having two permanent covers would be a good idea, but someone could request an eyepatch from Ferryman-san instead, if you'd like to remain clothed.
[He sees Sunny has rolled over, which is good. It looks like the examination is still going to go forward.] You don't mind if I lean over you, do you? Back home, sometimes people would say I tended to, ah, "loom like a creepier Slenderman". [Thanks, Saionji-san.]
[Nagito did have a point - Kel’s shirt was pretty much in tatters already. Sunny would feel awful if Kel had nothing to wear, even if they were in a sweltering Desert for now and Kel would probably proclaim that he was entering his ‘Tarzan era’ if a shirt wasn’t needed…]
Eyepatch… [The whisper left him as his throat opened up, the bed already working its magic to relax his tense posture. An eyepatch might be cool… then he would look kind of like a space pirate… but wait, Sunny wasn’t cool enough for that! The idea was tempting though. He wouldn’t say no if someone ordered strongly suggested that it was a good idea.
The teen nodded in consent for Nagito to continue his work, even if that thought alone had his heartbeat speed up again. Breathe. In and out. One, two, three, four. And repeat.
[The teen offered a small shrug in Nagito's direction.]
I'm already looking for a replacement because this thing isn't going to stay up much longer. So much got showing my love for Omodog wherever I go...
[A big, overly dramatic sigh followed. Just to be silly and make a scene, nothing more, his shirt needed a change anyway... it was eventually going to fall apart.]
And... yeah. I can go ask for an eyepatch. Since it's not for me, maybe the Ferryman will give me something, actually. Note taken. Sunny, you're going to look like Spaceboy,but cooler!
[For the rest? He finally stepped in, crossing his arms and standing closer to the two. He... heard the doctors talk with Hero his friend group. He knows about the eye being removed since it was too damaged, but he didn't see the wound past the intial night.]
Hey buddy, need me to chatter around and offer a distraction?
I have it on good authority eyepatches make people look very badass! [Surely this is a good thing. Kuzuryu-kun always made it sound like a good thing. Nagito shifts a little to give Kel more space by the bed if he'd like it.] Are you ready to open your eye, Sunny-kun?
[Well, the fact that both Kel and Nagito seemed enthused about an eyepatch at least made Sunny more open to the prospect. If he could even be a fraction as cool as Captain Spaceboy…
And he would always take Kel talking as a distraction. The sound of his friend’s voice was a comforting familiarity - even if 90% of what he said was going to fly straight in one of Sunny’s ears and out the other (sorry Kel).
So, in a way, the nod that followed was an invitation to both people present. He took a breath, trying to still his frantic heartbeat, and the voice that answered was small.] R-ready.
Yes! Sunny is going to look super-uper-duper badass! I'm going to ask the Ferryman- they said no to me for the shirt but I know they won't say no to our Best Space Pirate.
[Okay. He... had to talk, then. It was... no bad. He could keep his mouth running and at least offer some kind of distraction- The teen stepped a bit closer, like the idea of seeing a wound that destabilized his dear friend so much he... did what he did? Like that didn't bother him at all.]
Well, let's see. I can talk of many things. Highschool, for example. I know you never really went to the big classes and, guess what? Good for you. HAH! It's just so boring. And people are getting weird. I like playing my video games, you know? And they talk about girls.
But speaking of girls, let me tell you all about a game where one of them absolutely kicked my ass at basketball. So, you see... it was a Faraway Town versus Distant Town friendly match and...
[And he talked. Talked about people Sunny never met, describing them and why he could remember them (a strong accent, a weird tic, an overly friendly attitude, being extremely good at something...) and how the game went. How this girl from Distant Town somehow managed to sweep the entire team and win the game even if the rest of her party wasn't that good or tall.
A rival? Kel does try to make it sound like that to add some weight to the whole thing, to add some... spice? Truth to be told he got his ass served on a silver platter and never saw her again, not that he tried to reach for the fellow player.
[Kel really is good at talking. It's a little charming, listening to Kel talk about what sounds like a normal American high school.]
Alright, Sunny-kun, open your eye, please.
[He doesn't say anything else, instead letting Kel do his job of distracting Sunny. Nagito doesn't think he'll have a lot of time to look things over, so it's best to focus.]
[Kel’s droning really worked wonders. Sunny could listen to his friend’s story in the background and his brain… it supplied little details, small twists.
Kel’s rival now had fancy sports shoes with little rocket boosters on the bottom, and Kel’s jumps defied gravity. An Orange Joe mascot may be cheering the entire game on (and simultaneously is the referee) from the sidelines. A bunch of Hectors and other Pet Rocks sit in the stands, silently celebrating when someone scores.
Sunny spaces out a bit, but that’s for the better. Nagito’s voice floats from somewhere above, a gentle prodding, and… Sunny opens his eye…
It… doesn’t look good. The socket isn’t infected, but it’s also little more than a sunken pit. The eye had to be removed, after all, and there are small cuts along the lid, presumably where the weapon used had nicked the edges.
Sunny doesn’t seem bothered though. If anything, he’s half-way between dozing and listening lazily.]
[The talks continue. It's now all about the two groups getting together for a pizza after the match, talking about future tournament plans, how they exchanged techniques- he's inventing most stuff, just keeping his mouth running since it does seem to help (?).
When the eye open, he has to try his best not to turn away and keep his attention on him.
He heard the doctors. He heard what they said. He saw the uncovered eye when Sunny emerged from the water but this was the first time really... seeing it. Open, the closed wound exposed. He didn't even know what a 'full enucleation' meant, but it looked gross and painful. Still part of Sunny, he told himself, still something to treasure, but Kel couldn't just lock away everyhting and forget.
The teen clenched his fists, somehow managing to keep the chatter going in a mostly casual manner -he's talking about high school even more. About tests, how Kel is actually pretty good at science but history? Oh, history is BAD for him. All those names and dates. Chemistry is weirdly amusing, they learn things with experiments, he gets to *do* stuff, but literature? Names and names and names while sitting in a warm class.
Normal complains about normal teen stuff, right? Now that Sunny seems to be dozing off, lost in thoughts, at least Kel doesn't have to worry about keeping a smile on his face. What the hell was Basil even thinking? God...]
Oh, and once I managed to see someone completely burn off their own eyebrows during one of the experiments. We were supposed to see how stuff changed the color of flames and he got a biiit too close.
[Nagito looks without flinching, calm as if he were reading a book by the oasis, though he does look thoughtful. He isn't about to touch anything, but he leans in a bit, letting Kel's words fade entirely into a constant background droning.]
It doesn't look infected, or particularly dirty. I believe that you're supposed to clean the eyelid, so make sure you're doing that. Just the outside, though! And if you're not going to have it stitched closed, my understanding is it's safer to have something inside the socket. One of you ask Ferryman-san about it, alright? It might be different given our situation.
[He's speaking in his standard soft, breathy voice, but that doesn't sound like a request. He's also mentally contemplating who would be best to stitch it closed, if that ends up being necessary. It's best if the Ferryman can simply make it happen. Otherwise--well, Nagito isn't fond of him, but Dankovsky is the best option, and Nagito isn't petty enough at the moment to ignore that fact.
He spares a glance at Kel only after he's done with his basic examination; he doesn't want Kel to faint or anything.]
[Sunny remains calm through the entire observation and prognosis. Mostly because his mind is elsewhere - a pizza stadium in the clouds, maybe, as Kel’s story becomes more grandiose.
He’s knocked out of it a bit by talk of ‘next steps.’ Sunny fidgets on the bed but… he isn’t panicking so much as he is wanting to delay the inevitable.
Neither option sounded pleasant. He can’t see Kel with how he’s laying, but still his hand grips the sheet beneath him like he’s subconsciously searching for support.
For someone else to make a decision for him. It would be so simple in Headspace - Omori hadn’t lost an eye, he wouldn’t ever, so he didn’t have to make that choice.
How lucky. It filled him with some form of jealousy, in a way.]
We are what we are… can we even have wounds that get infected?
[It's a genuine question, even if it's barely anything more than a whisper. He's doing his best not to faint, Nagito- it's not easy when he's never been used to this kind of stuff, but the last thing anyone needed was to handle Kel crashing down on the floor. His attention shifted to the way Sunny held onto the sheet and, even if he didn't dare move any closer? He did reach for the other's ankle, squeezing it. A small compromise not to directly get too close to Sunny's face but also offer support- oh, they're talking about (Well, Nagito is talking) what to do after?]
We actually checked! I... when Sunny was… rushed to the hospital. I- [There's a squint, he's not sure who...] I don't remember who, but me and Aubrey were running on adrenaline, she's a friend, and someone distracted us teaching us about eye stuff. Huh… I didn't think it mattered since we're ded bt I still remember something!
[It was Hero. Hero, who was studying to be a doctor, tried to reassure the two teens that while Sunny was probably going to lose his eye, things were going to be fine. He even gave suggestions and informations while they all say in the waiting room during a surgery that lasted Forever.]
Two days covered. We're past it. Should be kept clean, but he shouldn't lift heavy weights nor bend too much.. forward? There are ointments that should be put in the wound if it's still fresh but that doesn't… seem the case? Nor it seems like it needs to be drained? I'm… not exactly a doctor. Filling the socket isn't really necessary? More of a thing in case the eye socket or eyelids require support or protection, something like that.
[But thats not what matters in the immediate right? He does mumble something about being willing to go with sunny to the actual doctor if needed and he's back discussing pizza toppings, a special focus is on anchovies and how much Kel dislikes them...
[Nagito has heard some of the specifics of Kel's memory loss issues from Mari; he doesn't comment on it, but he makes a few new mental notes under his "the situation between Sunny, Mari, and Kel" header. Nagito reaches out and drags the closest chair over to Kel, nudging it against the back of his legs so maybe he'll sit down.]
I do doubt we can get any infections, at least outside the Crossing itself. But we are doing a lot of physical activities, and we know the Crossings behave differently. [Even if the Ferryman intends to keep them safe, Nagito can't trust that they will always be able to. Sunny walking around with an extra hole in his head, even less protection than what an eye can provide, when something might attack him--
Ah, but he shouldn't say that out loud, should he?]
That's why Ferryman-san should have useful input on this situation. It could be I'm worrying about things that don't matter at all! [Nagito smiles at Sunny; as far as Nagito's emotional state goes, they could be discussing the weather right now. He's seen so much worse, this doesn't phase him. Catching Kel's pre-pizza mumblings, he adds:] But if you'd rather talk to someone else, I don't mind going with you as well.
[Really, to Sunny, the worst part about his situation - aside from the constant reminder of how he had died - was the lack of depth perception and sight. Really though, he was getting used to it…
He couldn’t just… go to the Ferryman and ask why he didn’t have an eye, right…? Sunny knew that answer because it lay in his memories.
And yet…. Everyone around him seemed bothered by it for one reason or another.
Nagito’s calm helps Sunny keep calm though, and Kel’s continued talk allows him to distance himself (mentally) from the problem… for now.]
Mmmm. [The teen lets out a flat hum, half-avoidance, but… not an outright refusal. Having someone go with him to do… whatever they were talking about… was a lot less scary than facing it by himself.]
[Kel could understand the feeling, somehow. Just looking at Sunny reminded him of his own death, constantly, he just got really good at... hiding it. Even from himself.
Not that the sense of guilt got any less intense, of course... but only Frieda knew and Kel intended to keep it that way.]
The crossing itself is awful if you're not under the Ferryman's protection. but I want to hope the 'safety' means everyone is not going to get hurt or sick during the crossing. [A pause] This time I will be with the team, though, so if anything tries to attack Sunny's eye it'll have to face me first. Heh...
[He did not feel like laughing, it was as forced as soneone could imagine. When the chair hits the back of his legs, he does sit down, yet he refuses to let go of the other's ankle yet.]
Whatever Sunny or Mari want to do, they'll have my support. It's good to know he's got another reliable friend to help, right Sunsun?
You can close your eye again, Sunny-kun. [And before Kel starts ripping up more of his shirt, Nagito offers a plain white strip of cloth to Sunny. It's very clean.] You can wear that while I wash your other one. I know it doesn't look at cool as the orange one or an eyepatch, but it's just for a little while!
[Obviously nothing scavenged up by Nagito would be cool. That's just silly. But he can at least make it clean, so maybe that counts for something.]
As long as everything goes as expected, Crossing with Ferryman-san should be relatively safe. [But Nagito is used to things not going as expected. Still, it's better if Sunny and Kel can keep hoping for the expected situation, so he won't say anything directly about his concerns.]
[It took a moment for Sunny to realize the examination was over… but he gladly closed his eye, wrapping the cloth Nagito gave him dutifully around his head… even if some part of him had gotten used to the material of Kel’s shirt against his face.
His friend’s grip on his ankle was like an anchor too. Sunny blinked, gaze almost bleary, as he slowly became away of his body again.
A shame, in its own sort of way.]
Going with… Ferryman… [There was no doubt of that, even if Kel’s support did leave Sunny feeling more relieved. Even if he didn’t deserve it… Kel was always a good friend to him.]
[Nagito catches Sunny at the oasis and waves at him.] Good afternoon, Sunny-kun! [He very gently attaches a sticker to the back of Sunny's hand. It's a cartoon Makoto face with a speech bubble that says "KEEP GOIN".]
Yes! [Nagito shows Sunny the sticker book he got. Look at all those Makoto faces.] I wasn't certain if Ferryman-san would give us something like this--something that features one of us--but it's good to know they will!
[Sunny was equally as surprised - eye wide with wonder as he stared at the verifiable book of stickers. The Ferryman had been quite kind.]
There’s… so many…!
[And they were all so nice. Sunny looked down at his hand, where Nagito had placed the Encouraging Makoto sticker. He was never washing that hand again… except… Mari would probably be mad.
So, instead, he gently removed the sticker and placed it on the cover of his new notebook. There! Safe and secure.]
[The crossing is always emotional so it's a relief when Kel wakes up to find stuff right next to him- the basketball? It fills him with GLEE even if he's a bit intimidated by the 'I am dead inside' smile painted on it. the shirts though? They're both too small for him and the words printed on them...
The ghosts of afterlife must have delivered Chrismas presents wrong or something, but after trying both the 'I <3 Mari' (WAY too small) and 'I <3 Sunny' (WAY too embarrassing) shirts? He figures out who actually deserves them.]
Oh Suuuuunny- Where is my favorite Pet Rock champion?
[not him hopping near Sunny with both hands behind his back, hiding one of the shirts while the other has been tucked away. He'll go to Mari later.]
[Oh. Kel was not going to make things so easy. Not when he was in full 'annoying brat' mode and he had something absolutely embarrassing to give Sunny.
Oh, he and his sister were going to get matching shirts!]
Not so easy, buddy.
[Screw personal face, he moved right in front of the other and bent his back to be right in front of his face. The Grin? Not leaving his face. Not at all. The kind of face that made people want to bonk him on the head most of the time.]
[Sunny’s literal sense of dread just keeps Growing.
As Kel leans in - personal space be screwed, Sunny is used to Kel doing such things, and knows that Kel would back off if Sunny really seemed uncomfortable - the teen feels cold sweat forming on his back.
This was why Sunny disliked surprises. They were things unexpected, things he couldn’t plan, and often required (fairly normal) expectations of him.
Still… with a nervous breath he nodded and did as told. The dark that came after closing his eye actually helped.]
[Oh, please... as if Kel would ever hurt Sunny or not stop if things got weird or uncomfortable.
Still, he waits, And when sunny is with his eye closed, Kel finally raises the shirt up, passing it around his head and trying to gently tug it down. Ah, it's just a tiny bit too large, isn't it? Well, better, Sunny should be able to wear it above his normal clothes, which is even better.]
Okay. Hands up, slide them where I guide you. I promise you'll love this, it feels like it was made just for you.
[Definitely not for Kel. There was something innately wrong in the idea of declaring any form of love to Mari without making it super clear it was platonic, like he was stepping in someone else's territory. If their crossing talk had anything to do with it, that had something to do with the Hero guy... right?
Still. 'I love Mari' shirt could only belong to one person.]
People around here are going to envy you and call you Mister Handsome, trust me.
[It was such a strange feeling, being guided to put on a shirt while (almost) blind - not that Sunny knew that was what was happening. Trying to get his arms to coordinate through unseen holes and his floof of hair through the top without dislodging the orange eyepatch was quite an accomplishment.
Kel should be proud. Though the more his friend talked, the more concerned Sunny because until…
The shirt was on.]
U-um… [Was he allowed to open his eye and see what was happening? The teen fidgeted a bit in place, feeling somewhat awkward.
Why would everyone call him handsome? And be jealous of him? Would that be a problem? What exactly was happening???]
Oh, how handsome. How dashing. My heart is racing.
[Please do not mind Kel's tone, he's keeping his amusement as low as possible and his voice as neutral as he can humanly do. He's having fun, okay? And while he thinks the shirts are.... a bit too much? It's nice to have something to distract both himself *and* Sunny.]
You can look now.
[He takes a good step back, moving his fingers so they'll draw a big heart in front of himself. It's silly, but that black t-shirt with the obnoxiously bold letters printed on it? It's perfect. Truly perfect.]
Oh, and you're allowed to punch me. Just this once.
[The fact that Kel’s amusement wasn’t through the roof was almost setting off alarm bells in Sunny’s head. And then his friend was saying he could punch him, what was that about…?
Sunny opens his eye. He looks down…
What in the deepest darkest pits of Humphrey was he wearing…..???
Sunny’s expression went completely blank, the upside down letters sinking in. He glances at Kel, at the heart the other is making that mirrors the one on his new shirt, and…
The tips of his ears flush. He isn’t punching Kel, but both of Sunny’s hands are hiding his own face now in embarassment.]
[This is, possibly, the first genuine moment since he arrived there when his heart isn't troubled. It's small, it's silly, but it's just him being himself with one of the people he loves. Thank you, spirits of afterlife, for granting him two horrible looking shirts.
His grin only widens as Sunny finally gets to see his shirt.
It's perfect, isn't it? If Kel had siblings? He feels like he'd be loud and proud about loving them, there's nothing wrong in what Sunny's wearing from his point of view. That being said, the other's reaction is priceless.]
Nooooo... don't hide your face, you're looking great! Should I dramatically swoon to convince you? I can do that, you know?
[He 'breaks' the heart by bringing both hands to his knees and bending forward a bit.]
Everyone will be so jealous! Because everyone loves Mari, but that's clearly your shirt. And you know the best part? She's got a matching one too!
[He lifts one hand up, tip of the finger doodling against the remains of his orange shirt.]
[You know, Kel’s logic actually had Sunny lowering his hands, the flush still present but unsure on his face.
Wait that is right. He did care for Mari (even if he didn’t have any right to that feeling anymore, he felt), and everyone else seemed to be agreeable with her too, so maybe having the shirt wouldn’t be so bad…?
(As long as he could get over his embarrassment, that is.)
But then Kel mentioned that-
Mari had a matching shirt.
Probably with his face on it. With the words ‘I love Sunny’ on it. And that fact has him hiding his face all over again in embarrassment and… guilt?
It swam hot in his stomach, an eerie echo in his head.
I love you, Sunny.
Something had followed him within that space, imploring, begging, sickeningly sweet - those words repeated over and over and-
OK, maybe he might be hiding for more than his embarrassed sibling nature right now.]
[Mari had, indeed, a matching shirt. Kel found the whole idea absolutely endearing, but despite not being the smartest guy in town he was at least emotionally smart enough to notice the switch in Sunny's posture and mood.
It was subtle, considering the other was hiding his face and all, but it was enough to give the other teen pause and, even if Kel wasn't exactly sure of what he brought up that was wrong... he at least lowered his tones.
Perhaps Sunny still had to properly process the fact he was... tied to Mari's death?
Perhaps bringing her in the discussion had been a mistake? Not really sure on how to tackle this, Kel merely stepped closer once more, lifting both hands up and trying to place his palms against the back of his friend's hands.]
It's okay to have people loving you, you know?
[A lower tone, calmer. He meant Mari and Mari specifically but having a more general approach felt more appropriate given... everything.]
And there's nothing embarrassing in loving and being loved. Even if the shirts are a bit on the bolder and louder side than you're probably used to.
[The topic of his sister was such a strange thing to him - polarizing, fine one minute and triggering the next. This was only doubled by the fact that she was… well… dead but present, in a way that none of Sunny’s previous dreams and hallucinations had been like before.
She still loved him. She shouldn’t. It was all his fault. And yet some part of him, deep down, still craved for the days that they spent together.
It had been a mistake. It was still his fault.
That soft touch, as well as Kel’s gentle tone, had the way Sunny froze slowly start to unravel. If Kel tried to move Sunny’s hands, the teen would let him - the expression underneath a mixture of something vulnerable and scared.
He was scared, if he allowed himself to name the feeling. The idea that he could be alone here, if people found out how horrible he really was (if he would be truly alone here, as even the friends inside his head weren’t paying him visits) was terrifying.
It was ok to be loved? To love? Sunny didn’t deserve that though. He couldn’t shake his head, didn’t want to go so far as to physically deny it - that would raise questions, wouldn’t it? Questions he had no idea how to answer - so he remained silent, his gaze shifting every so often, still filled with that fear.]
[Ah... so much for a fun shared moment, huh? Kel bit his lips, looking at his friend. This had been a mistake, but perhaps Sunny needed a chance to be a bit more honest about his own feelings?
It had to be a big weight on his shoulders if he was, as Kel heavily suspected, the reason Mari died in the first place. How a murder was staged was... not something he understood, perhaps Sunny's parents put it up as a cover for the sake of protecting their only remaining son? Maybe Basil knew something about it and that's why he fully withdrew after the incident? He had so many questions but...
right now helping his friend was the priority, even if Kel suspected that Sunny was even worse than him at processing his own feelings.]
Hey...
[He offered a small, warm smile in face of that fearful expression, leaning further down just to be on same eye level of Sunny. Something told him 'you don't have his warmth', but Kel didn't know who 'him' was, nor he could focus on what he was missing right now.
Time to... try his best?]
I know... I know it's scary. And I know there is a lot that still has to be said, especially between you two, but...
[He raised one hand, caressing the other's cheek Like he did so many times when Sally was upset. His mind forgot, but his heart didn't..]
You two love each other deeply and that's something everyone can see. And people love you, Sunny. I love you. Aubrey loved you too, even if she was hurting during those last days... [No mention of Basil, not yet. He just doesn't know what went wrong that night.] And so many people in Faraway did too.
Whatever happens. And whatever happened. I promise it's going to be okay. I'll do my best to make sure of that. [A pause.] Do you want me to hug you?
[If only Sunny would have known the evidence to back up Kel’s claims. But since he had… died… during that fight, he never got to see it.
The hospital room overflowing with flowers and well wishes.
The fact that the quests small acts of kindness he did had left an impact on people.
He didn’t know any of that, so all he could do was half-heartedly nod in agreement.
But… Mari did love him. Kel did. Aubrey… did? She did. And Hero, too, his bright smile as he made breakfast (a breakfast of which Sunny hadn’t eaten, but could appreciate the sentiment, he supposed). Basil… Basil was such a tug of war, as always. Sunny cared for him, he was his friend, but at the same time… he couldn’t get over the memory of being in that room.
…Aaaand he was probably sitting there thinking about this for way too long, spacing out and worrying his friend that was present.]
…small… one… [Small hugs were ok. Sunny was used to Kel’s energetic touch, which might be a bit too much right now but… a small amount was alright.]
[The insane difference a single week made for both of them.
Kel and Aubrey got to hold each other while barely being able to process what actually happened in Basil's house, they got to talk about it, they both watched over their friends as they slept after... all that happened. And they both got to see a sea of people walk in Sunny's room to bring in flowers.
The Hooligans had been the first ones. Kel was almost shocked to see Mikhael without his stupid wig and Charlene brought in so many things for everyone, a true caretaker. Then there was Cris, bringing in flowers from her family and standing by Kel's side the most- she had been such a wonderful friend. A shame Sunny barely got to know her.
And then Joy, Brent, the two lovely newlyweds- everyone in their little corner of Town just coming in with presents and well wishes. What was heartbreaking was how sterile Basil's room was in comparison, but both Kel and Aubrey's feelings toward Basil had been so confusing in that short period of time they just didn't find themselves doing much more.
Still, no time to focus on other stuff right now. Kel just had to look at Sunny to feel how... smaller the other felt compared to other teens their ages. And not just Physically. Between an empty fridge and an empty house, he couldn't help but wonder how lonely and lost the other had been since the incident, how mcuh that influenced his thoughts too, and just- feel protective.
If Sunny's mom couldn't bother to show up during his hospital stay, exactly like Basil's parents, then Kel was going to do his best to let Sunny understand he was worth of love. Even if, from Kel's understanding, some horrible things happened because of him.]
Okay, small one. You just tell me if I need to step back, mh? Or pinch my stomach, if words don't come out, I'll back off.
[He was careful and strangely gentle as he wrapped his arms around the other, pulling him closer and letting his face rest against his chest. At least it allowed Kel to drop his smile for a moment and not pay attention to his own facial expressions, that was helpful.
He... wasn't good at words, but he had to try.]
You know... feelings are quite the irrational thing. We can't fully control them, even when we try, and sometimes they can feel overwhelming. I can tell you have some strong bad ones tucked inside- [And he knew it was probably coming from... guilt? From what he did to his sister?] When they get too bad, try to remember that you're worth loving, no matter what happened that makes you feel that way.
[Would he have been able to have a similar conversation with Basil? Post... incident? He didn't know, he wanted to believe he truly loved his friends but feelings in that sense were still a complete mess. Fortunately enough, both Basil and Aubrey were still alive so it was not something he had to worry about in the immediate.]
[It was ironic how so much of Sunny’s life was defined by the split-second decisions that impacted him.
A moment of anger
A deciding solitude
The opening of a door
A moment of panic-
All of it, split second feelings that led to something that changed the course of his life.
He couldn’t have known, didn’t see or smell or hear the well wishes, that people cared that much even though he had stayed in his room for four years and was moving away soon-
He nodded against Kel’s chest. As always, the other was giving him a way out. A pinch would be easier, probably hurt less (emotionally) for both of them if it came to that but for now… it was quiet and safe and Kel’s arms were like walls blocking out the rest.
(Even if Sunny’s viewpoint still had him looking down at his new shirt.)]
M’kay. [It was a noise of agreement, a half word, and then Sunny was listening. Listening as Kel talked in that familiar yet calm cadence. He froze at that admission - you have some strong bad ones tucked inside - but forced himself to relax.
Sunny did have too many feelings locked away. He normally didn’t show them, even Before, but they were always there - lurking beneath the surface, waiting to make themselves known—
Split second decisions.
A small voice inside Sunny whispered. You don’t understand. What I did. I’m not worth it.
He squashed it down, shoved it back inside that sterile room, and whispered his own defiance.]
[Those small decisions also impacted everyone around him... but Kel still wanted to do his very best to keep issues at bay.
There was no turning back and he at least knew Sunny enough to understand the other wasn't some kind of evil creature, nor he had a real intention to hurt anyone. Their lives had just been a string of... unfortunate incidents.]
Mhm...
[He could feel the other tense up and then relax at his words, and... Kel had to admit it. He didn't know what else to do beside reassuring and reassuring Sunny. He didn't do it enough in Faraway and it landed them in the afterlife, so... maybe this was going to help?
Maybe Sunny needed to know that no matter what, he was going to stay loved? Still, he couldn't bring himself to say 'hi, I think I know what happened with Mari' out loud. Everything was miserable as possible already... all he could offer to Sunny was support.
He didn't even know why he hesitated before reaching for the other's head, gently scratching it. This was no real 'friends' stuff between boys, this was siblings stuff level and he had always been a single child so... this was unexplored territory, right? Even with someone like Sunny he always cuddled when they were kids.]
I know you're trying your best, Sunny. I see you... [He closed his eyes for a moment, being careful in how he modulated his tone. He was the older one, he had to sound stable and confident.] And I will be honest with you. I come from... further down the line than you. Or, well, I've been awake while you were not so I have- I had- [A talk with Mari.] Time to process feelings. Emotions. How much I love my friends.
[Maybe, if Sunny felt confident enough, he'd... choose to talk?]
I know things got... intense back home. That being said? I promise you there's nothing you can do or say that will make me stop caring about you. So... if you're struggling? Please, know I'll always be here to listen, kay? And to remind you how loved you are, eeeeeven if I think you'd have to be blind not to notice how everyone in our group already took a shine on you.
[If Sunny could get their friend group situations to stop orbiting around him, he would gladly vote for that responsibility to fall to someone else.
A string of unfortunate incidents, indeed.]
‘Further… down the… line’…?
[It was a confusing string of words but… did Kel mean to say he knew things that Sunny didn’t? He… guessed that would make sense. Sunny’s own perception had cut off once he’d started losing blood - once the shears had left his eye - so… maybe trauma just had him forgetting.
Again.
But Kel sounded confident, so who was Sunny to interrupt with his own fears?
At least… Kel seemed to have figured things out. (Whatever that might be.)]
I… know… [It was small reassurance. Kel would stick by him (even if Sunny still feared the look on his friend’s face if he ever found out the Truth), and… that small declaration had him almost breathing some form of amusement through his nose. Everyone… cared for him? But they seemed to…
Sunny pulled back from the hug and pointed to his wrapped eye.] Already… half-blind… [Did that count as a joke. Still, Kel’s point came across.]
[Too bad, Sunny... you somehow got adopted by the entirety of the group. Kel included. Like a precious baby everyone wanted to keep safe- even back home, during their 'fights', somehow only Kel got attacked, remember? Who'd want anything bad to happen to Sunny?]
Huh... back home. I came here a week after you...
[Got hurt. He dosn't even know how to put those words out without bringing up Basil in any way...]
It was an intense one. Heh... believe it or not, me and Aubrey even spent a night together, hugging like we were ten again. There was a lot going on. [A pause. If... Sunny was not in favor of talking maybe Kel had to try? Something inside him churned around just a bit, it was unfair that he was the one always having to try, but as soon as he realized it was his own fear talking it was easy to silence it.] And after that week, we both came here. Wel, you and me. Aubrey is still home.
[Just... say it. Just... do it.]
She was in Basil's hospital room the last time I saw her. I want to believe they at least have each other now.
[It felt like wind had just been knocked out of his guys, but at least... he took that dangerous step. Not that he wanted to talk about how the two of them died, but at least he could bring up the only good thing? Two of their friend group of five were still alive And Hero... too. But Kel couldn't remember.]
Heh... [Good lord, Kel knew far too well Sunny was half blind but that didn't make it easy to smile when he pointed it out. So much for a moment of laughing at a stupid t- shirt.] I know. But you still got one whole eye to look around you and seehow many people love you, silly.
[Sunny simply blinks, silent, as the information sinks in one by one.
A whole week… Aubrey had stayed too, which meant… things were alright now? And Basil… that meant he was ok, right? If he was in the hospital.
But… Sunny didn’t remember that… he remembered the pain from his eye and the warmth of blood leaking down his face, the sudden jolt of terror that led to a lightheadedness and then… falling in the River.
Had he… been asleep for a week? Had he died in his sleep and not realized it? Then why had his ‘death’ been so painfully relived in the River…?
The thought was making Sunny’s head swim, and suddenly he was glad that Kel was there as a physical support in case he passed out again.
Sunny blinks again, the joking laugh bringing him back.
Focus on that.]
One… eye… [There was a joke, somewhere, locked away in his head, but Sunny couldn’t bring himself to dredge it up from his clouded conscious.]
[A whole week, indeed. It felt like an eternity to Kel, moving between one hospital room and another with Aubrey, both feeling almost like powerless ghosts while their friends fought their demons.
Things were so not alright, otherwise Basil wouldn't have stabbed Sunny, right? And Sunny wouldn't have jumped down.
Kel remembered the rush to Basil's room once they heard Sunny's body hit the floor, he could remember holding Sunny's body after pushing Basil away from him, Aubrey trying to calm the blonde boy down despite the horror and panic of the moment and Polly taking the lead in stopping the bleeding and helping them wait for the ambulance.
Kel had been covered in blood, but his mind refused to acknowledge that more than needed.
If asked, though? He'd just assume that Sunny only remembered up to a certain point so that's how he rememebred his death, hell if he had any answer.]
Yeh. Like Spaceboy. And, like him, you have a very devoted crew. [A pause.] I'm just... sorry. We were asleep and we didn't hear anything.
[There's a reason if now, that his body no longer needs it, Kel has been awake non stop. There are many reasons the guilt won't go away. Man, how did they get there from laughing around about a shirt?]
Maybe in his dreams, he might be the main character with Spaceboy starring every so often in a cameo, but here…
Sunny was Sunny. He wasn’t cool or strong or brave. He could just be who he was.
And where Kel had been kept up by the events of that night, Sunny had been indulging in his own ignorance and rest. Again. And again. And again.
The teen shakes his head at the apology. Indeed how had they gotten to this point?]
Not… your fault… I chose… to try and help…
[That’s what he had been doing, right? After that awful nightmare (remembrance), when the Truth had laid itself bare amidst a photo album stained with blood and the long shadows of his backyard, Sunny had felt compelled to go to Basil.
To talk about what had happened, maybe. About what they hid. To save his friend, more importantly.
But Sunny had failed at both of those. That’s why he was here, right, instead of in a blissful nothingness?
But… then why was Kel here? Why would Mari be here like that Incident had happened just the other day? It must be him - his sins and secrets weighing them down with him.
”Although they are revived time and again, the most haunting stay in this world…”
[The comparison was supposed to make sunny feel better, but he could tell it didn't work.
This was... a difficult conversation to have, as a whole, and... help?
The teen found himself opening his mouth a couple of times before being able to process that new bit of information- help...]
Were... you trying to help him? That's what happened back there?
[Was Basil's accident unrelated to Sunny's... situation? He knew the other had been bullied for a while, even if kel found out about that pretty much only when Sunny did (He did spend time with Jay and Cris and other people, they weren't exactly in Basil and Aubrey's circles), andthat his grandmother passed out the same day Sunny lost his eye. The kind boy didn't even tell Polly about that, she found out later from a call from his parents, he just- chose solitude.
And... oh.
Oh.]
Was he... at risk of getting hurt?
[With Sunny jumping from the top of a hospital, hallucinations or not, now Kel wonderedif what Sunny tried to do was. trying to stop Basil from doing something equally stupid. His two friends were pretty broken, huh? It was difficult to figure out what to say next, so he merely pulled Sunny closer once more, trying to let im rest his forehead against his chest. No need to see Kel's face, not right now.]
You shouldn't have been alone, but saying you how sorry I am won't change anything so... I... thank you, Sunny. For trying your best.
[It was hard, thinking back to that night, trying to confirm Kel’s question.
It was a hard question too.
One that Sunny had felt deeply himself, had he not escaped into his dreams, and even then… before those three days back home, he might have been content to spend the rest of his life in such a state.
But Basil…
Sunny nods, hesitant and small.]
I… think… [He had entered to talk, to attempt to at least, and Sunny had seen the sheers-
Everything will be okay.
-except it wasn’t. Basil had felt trapped into an inescapable pit, surely, one that Sunny had inadvertently helped dig.
If- if he couldn’t save his friend… he at least figured… maybe dying to try and do so wasn’t so bad…
After all…]
Can’t… my… fault… [He couldn’t save Basil, could he? Not by himself. Not as himself. But Kel had said that both of them had made it to the hospital so that… couldn’t for something, right?
Except for the fact that Sunny had ended up here, and Basil surely was feeling all sorts of things about that…
Just like Sunny had.
He didn’t deserve thanks from Kel. Even if the other meant well… even if Basil had been saved… it was still all his fault.]
[So Kel's idea of 'Basil was trying to stop Sunny' was absolutely wrong. Getting together details about what happened was so difficult, but they were in the middle of... a conversation, right now. And, hopefully, Sunny wasn't going to run away.
His family, his non blood related family, sure was all messed up. And he was probably messed up as well.
At the nod, he merely leant forward, placing a kiss on the top of someone who felt like a hurt kid now. Sunny tried to help Basil, Basil perhaps knew something he wasn't supposed to, his grandma died and.... everything went to hell.]
For what it's worth... Aubrey is with him. And Polly, even if she's no longer officially employed- she says she's going to do her best not to leave his side.
[He wanted to be angry with Basil for what happened to Sunny, he probably still was to some degree, but overall the whole situation just felt depressing. And it was in part Kel's fault for not realizing what was going on.
If only he paid better attention to all the small things...]
Ah... [Sunny's fault? Kel blinked before staring in silence to the side for a moment, still trying to keep the other close enough so Sunny would be unable to look up at him. Hard to keep up a smile while discussing certain things...] I... [He knew about Mari. He didn't know a lot of other things. Sunny didn't know what Kel knew or didn't knew, though, and this bit of conversation was subtly telling him Basil was at least... involved to some degree? Or was he reading too much into it? The flower boy did completely retreat after the incident, after all and- ah shit.
Any reply was a gamble. Say 'not your fault' could probably push Sunny to hold his own fears back... right? Consoling him would maybe have the same effect. Acknowledging any fault could hurt him, though, and he still didn't know what ent down in that room. This was... difficult.]
I... [A pause. This was going either to push Sunny away or break things between them but, hey, it wasn't like Kel could play dumb in the middle of a conversation like this. He wasn't book smart, but he could at least understand people..] I know.
[And no way back from that. Saying that anxiety was rising in his chest would be a massive understatement.
I made some ugly mistakes too, though. No one is free of blame and... for what it's worth? I forgive you.
[For what? He wasn't even completely sure yet. For Mari, yes, but he lacked details beside the fact she had an argument with Suny and then died. For Basil? He didn't even know how Sunny was responsible. He wasn't certain of anything but sometimes one had to roll and pretend he knew a lot more than he did.]
[The brush of Kel’s lips against the top of his head was comforting, if a bit strange. Almost like something Mari would do but… Kel had always been a physical action sort of comforter. It didn’t bother Sunny in the slightest.
And oh, good, Basil would still have Aubrey and Polly and Hero.
Know… what? What did he mean by that, Sunny hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary.
Did he mean that Kel was more aware of Sunny’s mental state? His propensity to zone out and dissociate? His lack of motivation and wanting to live and-
Sunny’s gaze, in that moment, focused on the shirt he now wore.]
Sunny shoved against Kel’s chest, desperate to put any amount of distance between them, feeling like he couldn’t breathe.
He wasn’t strong, but adrenaline had the motion much more forceful than anything the teen had done so far. Maybe Kel was even caught off guard, since he had been so lax.
He couldn’t know- he couldn’t!
To be forgiven? Making ugly mistakes??
This wasn’t as simple as that! It was a mistake, but it had cost them all, and it was All His Fault-]
[Okay. OKAY. He hit something. He still didn't have the full picture but Sunny's reaction was enough to tell this was something Big at least. Maybe what had him run away mid therapy session?
while he let the other push him away, the immediate 'he's going to get lost in this hellish wet place' had Kel bolt forward and try to grab the other's wrist. He just had to keep him in place, not immediately trying to push him back in a hug.
He didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to process this, but Sunny was feeling guilty for something and Mari at least gave him enough info to figure out that there was some kind of accident while she and Sunny were fighting. The Basil part was a lot more confusing but Sunny didn't need to know how many questions Kel still had.
Thank god he never told Sunny the reason they both died was because Kel had not been fast enough and because Sunny wandered on the roof in the first place.]
Don't- Look at me, Sunny. Do you think you have to run away from me??
[He was literally bulshitting his way in the conversation, but it seemed like his emotional intelligence was at least allowing him to keep up with the whole thing. He... what was he supposed to say?
Hell, he didn't know. He threw himself in trying to console the other and now they were... somewhere. Somewhere highly unpleasant for both. All he knew was that he didn't want Sunny to look at him like that, with fear in his eyes- that actually made him angry, which wasn't easy to hide.]
Don't you really know how stubborn I can be when it comes to you?
[Or Mari. Or Basil. Or Hero. He could let people step on him, but when it came to the people he loved? He was always up to fight.]
(Not that Something, but it was equally as important. Actually, Sunny would have preferred Kel hitting the latter even if it meant having to explain the fact that he was haunted by a scary Something that changed shapes.)
Kel catches his wrist, and that grip is like a vice. All of Sunny’s lingering attention latches onto that-
He’s shaking his head frantically, tugging at his trapped arm like he’s in some sort of cage.
Kel’s voice echoes in and out of his hearing, distorted, like through a fog or some sort of filter. It should be reassuring.
Except this wasn’t about Kel. It wasn’t about how much Kel cared for his friends, stuck by Sunny even though he didn’t deserve it-
He wasn’t wanting to run from Kel, not really, but he wants to run from himself.]
[He could tell, thank you for the shocking revelation.
Kel didn't expect a shirt to bring in a conversation that would snowball like this, but there wasn't exactly a 'turn back' point, not anymore. There was plenty of regret as he still held Sunny there, keeping him just within arm distance, not sure if it was better to pull him back into a hug, to let him know with Kel's best love language that everything was unchanged between them, but he also knew it could be overwhelming.
What... what could he even say or do?]
I... [Sunny was his family, even if things were messy and awful. Sunny was someone who was apparently living with more ghosts than Kel imagined if his suicide and his current reaction were anything to go by.] I love you.
[A sentence made to be reassuring. Probably overdone by that point, considering kel was very vocal about how much he loved the siblings, but this time it had a lot more intent behind it. It tried to convey a whole 'I know things are awful, but you're forgiven and still loved'-
little did he know a ghost in Sunny's blackest parts of the brain repeated that sentence nonstop and only brought him trauma in such way. Little did he knew the other was not really seeing him anymore.]
Whatever you're thinking, just know that I know, I did for a while now, and I still love you.
[It was both the kindest and worst possible thing that Kel could have said.
‘I know’ ‘I love you’
No one was supposed to know- that was the whole point! They wouldn’t love him if they did, wouldn’t understand that it was an accident, all because Sunny just couldn’t have time to breathe or calm down or think-
It was a lie. Love was a lie. They don’t. They couldn’t.
For a while? How long had Kel known? Pretended to care? Had Mari been pretending this whole time? Had something happened and Sunny was now just living in another idealized daydream where they still cared-?
The thought had him tugging on his wrist harder, the motion sending a wince through him at the jolt of pain there.]
[It felt like a nightmare, the way Sunny was looking at him and reacting.
Was this similar to what Basil experienced, perhaps? Suddenly he felt like he could understand him a lot more, even if stabbing Sunny- God. Kel knew he was bad at his own feelings but right now all he could write himself as was 'miserable' and 'uncertain'. Every step he took was the wrong one.
Sunny was trying to run away and he just... couldn't let him go. Not now, not in that state. But communication seemed to be broken for now, right?
The only thing he could do was to wait for Sunny to calm down, even if it meant forcing him to stay there against his will. Ah... maybe the other was going to hate him now, fantastic. Still, he held the wrist a bit more and pulled the other closer, trying to pick him up between his arms like when he delivered him to Mari. This time? Simply trying to keep him there and maybe aiming to find a place where they could both wait... this out. Whatever this was.
It was okay if Sunny was going to be angry at him, Kel deserved it fully especially after failing to save him, but for now his safety was the most important thing.]
[Sunny certainly wished this was all a nightmare. Maybe the desert heat had gotten to him, maybe the marsh’s temperate climate made sleeping that much deeper, maybe Sunny would wake up with a gasp in the middle of the night tucked into his bed in Faraway Town-
None of those things happened.
Ke’s grip on his wrist wasn’t giving, and now the other was pulling Sunny towards him attempting to lean down and scoop him up with one arm under his legs and-]
No! [It was he only utterance Sunny had actually let out, full of fear and defiance and he just knew he wanted to be anywhere but here-!]
Edited (Forgot the number XD) Date: 2025-05-16 05:48 pm (UTC)
[That no was enough for Kel to stop on his tracks and at least not to pull up Sunny. No meant no, even in such a distressing context, right? He just wanted Sunny not to be so upset but- how?
Hell, he had not heard him talk in such a way in- well, never. The tone was so different from the soft spoken kid he once knew and the very gentle speaking teen he met four years later.
This was bad.
And Kel didn't know how to fix it. Perhaps another approach would work? Another one showing a bit more of Kel's own insecurities? Hell if he knew, right now he was trying different approaches, the only thing that didn't change was the fact Kel was not letting go of the other.]]
I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I didn't want to upset you.
[At least Kel had stopped trying to pick him up; Sunny would have felt awful later if he had accidentally punched the other in all of his flailing. (Not that it would have done much damage, at least Kel wasn’t Encouraging him.)
Kel was apologizing, and Sunny wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault. It was Sunny’s fault. He just couldn’t figure out how to put that into words, the frantic gasps leaving him unable to speak, his heartbeat was too loud, he was Stressed Out, and—]
…!
[Sunny passed out.
Good thing Kel actually had some form of a grip on Sunny; the teen suddenly dropped like a deadweight.
A physical examination shows that he’s simply some form of asleep, any panic that he had felt was wiped from his face, his breaths soft and even.
[He does see Sunny go down like a sack that has been suddenly emptied and his reaction is immediate, he moves forward to block the fall. Sunny's body. Going down. Limp and careless like nothing really mattered-
There's something about Sunny and falling that by association causes Kel's stomach to close off. It's irrelevant if his knees would scrape against the floor or he would get hurt, the instinct is 'stop the fall'.
He did fail that once and the guilt is never leaving him. Guilt ramps up once more, not only he is the real reason Sunny is death but now a gift managed to turn everything into a mess. He's almost glad when he realizes Sunny is unconscious because there's no need to keep up a brave facade, nor to act like it doesn't matter if he'll never see his parents, his dog and his friends ever again. He doesn't have to act like it's okay if they're losing themselves at every step, he can just let himself go for a moment.
He shifts his position, crossing his legs and letting Sunny rest on the like he was a child cradled by a father, and with the arm that's not supporting his friend... the hand moves up, covering his face, as he allows himself to silently weep for a moment. Everything is just so much and while he has to be back in fighting state by the time the other is 'back' (and, god, who knows what Sunny will do or act like), Kel needs a moment to be just himself.]
[Nagito's first thought is that Kel is sitting there crying over a dead body. Even he knows that's not a useful thought; they're all already dead. But he'd heard the sound of something hitting the ground--someone, though Nagito would bet the rest of his afterlife he heard Kel hit the ground and not Sunny--and he's used to investigating that sort of thing in very specific contexts.
He spends a few moments standing there, uncertain. Sunny is apparently unconscious, Kel looks miserable. He attempts to channel Hajime or Chiaki or Makoto. He wishes, not for the first time, that Makoto would come back already. If Nagito knew where Makoto was, that's who he'd get. But it's just him.]
Are you both alright? Physically, I mean.
[Makoto or Hajime or Chiaki would be able to come up with something better to say than that. But it's just him.]
[He almost snorts when Nagito makes his presence known. It's an ugly sound in the middle ground between a choked chuckle and a sob- of course he couldn't just sit down and process things while waiting for Sunny to wake up and things to be miserable again. Even if the corners of his eyes sting and he knows a few tears did stream down his face, by the time he moves to look at Nagito Kel attempts to be smooth and clean them while moving his hand away.]
He's fine. We're fine.
[He does not sound fine. Its not like he feels like the worst possible friend in existence and just relived, even if just for a second, Sunny's final fall that got them both there.]
We just... had a moment. He's resting now.
[And Kel shows no intention of moving away, at least for now.]
Dankovsky just happens to be passing by also. He was trying to figure out where that familiar smell is coming from when he sees Sunny collapsed, with Kel nearby.
He ignores Nagito's presence and rushes up to the two as fast as his three legs will carry him.
"Kel?" He asks, face twisted with worry. He puts a hand on Kel's back- he might not be the most socially concious, but even he can tell that Kel isn't going anywhere for a moment. From here Sunny looks fine, at least, though he'll want to take a look in a bit.
[Nagito glances at Dankovsky as he arrives, but this is hardly the time for sniping. (Should he have touched Kel? Some people find that kind of thing soothing. Knowing how that works has never come naturally to him.)]
Do you want to put Sunny-kun into a bed?
[Or they could stay here. Should he even be here? Makoto, Hajime, or Chiaki would stay. So he'll stay.]
[Kel usually appreciates being touched, he also enjoys touching- it's part of his love language. Still, when Dankovsky places his hand on his back, the teen seems to tense up for a moment, holding Sunny a bit closer before relaxing his muscles.
Right. He's worrying others. He shouldn't.]
I'm fine. We're fine.
[He repeats in the doctor's direction. Things are not fine. Sunny is a mess and Kel doesn't know how to help, but what can he even say the others?]
We just... talked. We'll be fine. We're physically perfectly fine, after all, what can even happen to us here?
[He's smiling but it doesn't reach his eyes. The simple question about putting Sunny into a bed? He's not even answering that, his legs feel so heavy so he'd rather not move. Hell, his entire body feels like a boulder at the moment.]
Sorry, you two shouldn't be worried. Teen drama stuff, you know?
Dankovsky looks to Kel, and then to Nagito, like he suddenly just saw the other man. (He did not just see him.) He gives Nagito a knowing look. Kel is bullshitting, we both know this, right?
"I'm sure it's nothing." Daniil goes along with Kel, being dishonest, mostly to not hurt his feelings. He's hardly convincing, "But just in case, will you let me take him inside? I'm certain he won't want to wake outside on the cold hard ground."
He gives Nagito another look. Dankovsky won't be able to carry Sunny alone, he'll need his help, regardless of if the Bachelor likes it or not.
[Ah, some direction. Nagito is much better with direction. Like flipping a switch, he smiles at Kel. Even he knows Kel absolutely isn't fine, but if Kel would rather act like he is, Nagito can go along with it for now. His smile looks just like it always does; he's got a great poker face.] Oh, good! It seemed like the right thing to ask, you know, even if we can't really be injured here. But I do agree with Dankovsky-san. And I've made some of the beds! We can use one of those.
[He re-made some of them, even, to his own particular neat specifications.]
[This... gets on his nerves. He's just trying to allow himself a minute to process things and those two can't give him a sliver of space- take sunny here, take Sunny there, while he would usually be glad to see the his friend so well cared of-]
Can't you just. Give me. A second?
[He doesn't quite sound angry but his tone is stern. He's not trying to attack anyone, but not only Sunny is on the floor because of him but this unconsciously brings back how his parents kept pushing him, back then, because Hero needed attention... and any moment Kel cut to be upset for himself was unnecessary.
Feelings be damned, though, right? He's at least aware his anger toward the other two is unwarranted and, after taking a deep breath in, he's back to his usual self, nodding.]
'kay. Let's bring him inside, mh? I am sure Sunny does love beds, heh.
[Worry not, Dankovsky, no one's gotta step in to help carrying Sunny. It's not easy, but Kel wraps both arms around the other, supporting him from behind his back and from under his knees, and forces himself back up (not without struggling a bit and letting out a grunt). He's not letting Sunny go for the moment and that's clear. There's just... one thing.]
Just... don't tell Mari for now, mh? I don't want her to get upset over nothing.
Coiled up guilt settles into Dankovsky's gut. He hadn't meant to rush the poor boy, and he gives him all the time he needs- and then he lets Kel carry Sunny.
He can tell it means something to him, so he simply follows behind, ready to help if need be.
"Of course, nothing happened worth telling her, after all." He reassures Kel. Sunny looks fine after all, no bleeding, hopefully he'd wake up like nothing happened.
[It's strange seeing Kel like this, even though on another level it really isn't. With everything that seems to be going on with his friends--and Nagito only knows bits and pieces--it would probably have been weirder if something like this never happened.
Nagito follows along, keeping his distance easily. He's more used to that than he is sticking close.]
Whatever Kel-kun thinks is best.
[Which also means that if Kel wants to be left alone once they've gotten Sunny settled, that's fine, too. But Nagito does at least want to follow Kel and Sunny far enough to make sure Sunny is in bed.]
[It's already fading, Nagito. Kel's distress is being already pushed to the side in favor of a more casual expression, even if the grip around of Sunny's body only seems to tighten as he adjusts the weight weight between his arms.
He's not letting go. This is all he has left to protect and try to save and, no matter what hell trhows at them, he's not leaving Sunny or Mari. It just hurts so much that he knows he's the main source of pain for the other this time around.]
Yeah, nothing happened. I guess. You know how we teens are, right? All drama, all things full force, I guess I was too intense for Sunny. Heh. All my fault. He'll be fine.
[And, in a move that's more Hero's brand than Kel's, he does turn his head just slightly, resting his cheek on the top of the other one's head. It's not to comfort Sunny, it's to comfort himself even if it may look differently.]
Beds it is, Nagito! He loves testing mattresses, you know? When we were kids he used to rate the softness of things and he alwas complained my bed was 'too crowded', rating varying from two to four whenever we took a nap there. I loved keeping toys on it...
[He seems ready to follow, atleast, but the pointless conversation doesn't carry any actual humor in it.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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post-desert meeting
But he catches Sunny before he leaves.] So, if we go into one of the other shelters now, nobody should notice. I won't take too long!
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He couldn’t back out now. Mari would probably agree that it was better to get it checked (and somehow Nagito checking his eye out was less scary than Mari or Mr. Dankovsky doing so).
So Sunny nodded like usual, letting Nagito pick where they would go for privacy. He… hadn’t really looked into the other makeshift rooms, knowing only the one he and Mari stayed in for sure.]
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CW: this whole thread for probably PTSD and eye discussions
It wasn’t Nagito’s fault, Sunny reasoned, as his hands shook while he removed the blindfold. He was mostly comfortable with Nagito. It was just…
Sitting in a chair like this. Questions simply being asked of him, simple actions to be done… it felt a lot like the doctor’s. Or therapy. And even though Sunny focused on taking calming breaths, on moving slowly, on the task at hand… that didn’t make a difference to his mind.]
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Does it hurt? I probably should have asked that earlier, actually.
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It doesn’t hurt… it hadn’t since the hours after he had left the River upon arrival. That was something to be thankful for, right?
And yet… the memory of it, the idea that it could hurt, the thought that someone might be disgusted if he took that scrap of fabric off or if it had gotten worse…
That scared him.
What if Nagito was freaked out when he looked at it? What if he didn’t want to spend time with Sunny anymore afterwards?]
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‘Weird’…? [How were wounds weird here? Focus on that, not on how his hands are still shaking as he unknots the back of the strip of fabric.]
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So his hands trembled a little less, his breaths a bit surer, as he nodded.]
O-ok…
[It wasn’t really a response, more the small admission that Sunny could get out of his tight throat. Progress, though.
Even as he hesitated for a few moments to attempt opening his eye.]
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Did he feel like a nagging grandma when after a bit he decided to go check on them? Did they leave because Sunny was feeling overwhelmed? Did Kel managed to somehow miss it? He... checked with the other presents and started then moving toward the shelter where he saw the two going. Knock knock against one of the walls as he peered in-]
Hey... everything okay over here? Just checking on everyone.
[Lies. But hey- he DID pretend to care about others as much as he did toward the other two teens from Faraway]
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You know, you're really supposed to wait until someone says you can come in after you knock.
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CW: brief flashbacks to a fight; panic
It was just Kel. That fact should have relaxed him. It shouldn’t matter, because Kel had already been there, his friend already knew (not that Sunny had allowed anyone to look too closely at his eye anyway, but Kel knew), and yet…
The teen wasn’t sure why he felt afraid. Maybe it was because the memory held such a bad experience for the both of them. For Sunny, first hand, as he vividly remembered that flash of silver glinting off an otherwise dark room.
But Kel… Kel had been in the house too. He must have heard the struggle from the other room, blocked by a door that wouldn’t open, held by Something that wouldn’t let Sunny leave-
And suddenly the room they were in felt too tight, his lungs too small, the air too hot-]
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CW: blood mention, eye comments, fight talks
Well, it's not like anyone around here has any privacy, buddy. I'm getting used to that, I admit, it's nice. Beside that one time one of us started snoring and I was trying to rest nearby, who knew we still had the ability to sleep!
[And things were... tense. A glance in Sunny's direction and he knew he messed up- he looked so tense. What.. were they even talking about? Oh- oh the eye was uncovered. It did make his heart skip a beat and not in a positive way- fortuantely enough, Kel was getting better and better at pretending eveything was fine.]
Oh, I see, checking on your status? That's nice and very smart of you two. I just assumed that since stuff doesn't seem to hurt here, it was okay, but...
[He didn't dare to ask. He couldn't. That night? He was never going to forget it it, even if the door opened so easily for him -the fastest of their group and the first one to rush in-.Well, that wasn't completely true, everything felt like a blur and he knew memories couldn't stay, but the feelings of that moment? They still sit in his chest. The fear, the confusion, the rage as he pushed Basil away from Sunny's body, the way he ended up staring in the mirror as his clothes were stained in his friend's blood... but at least it wasn't as bad as the event that ended their lives.]
Hey, no need to look like this. I promise I like all of my best friend, even if you're spaceboy coded now.
[Yep.The air in the room was suddenly too warm and he felt like he couldn't breathe, but Kel refuses to back away unless asked to.]
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I figured I'd take a look at Sunny-kun's eye, to make sure it was doing alright. I've seen worse, so for me it isn't--
[He looks back at Kel again, casually, and pauses.] Do you want a paper bag, too?
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Dark eyes stare at the bag before Nagito’s words register, a bit belated. He breathes in and out, in and out… and whatever Kel and Nagito say blurs into background noise. He feels less like puking though, and the tension slowly leaves his body, replaced by an echo of remorse.
He may be holding the bag in front of his face to hide if he doesn’t puke in it…]
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I'm... good. Again, nothing there of Sunny can me me uncomfortable. No bag for me. Can I step closer?
[What a goddarn lie. But he is playing the part of the perfect friend, as long as he can at least, so there's that.]
Breathe, Sunny, it's all okay. You're between friends and nothing is wrong.
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[Nagito doesn't really think Sunny has it in him to make Kel leave, but maybe the control will help Sunny calm down? Also, Nagito currently judges himself the least likely to pass out in this room.]
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Besides… it was just Kel. And breathing into that paper bag was doing wonders for the teen’s nerves, at least for now.]
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Nah, you two can have the chairs. I just- you know. I'm trying to keep tabs on people. Making sure you're all okay- not sure what I can do more but duh.
[He felt... like a total idiot?]
Let's give our friend a moment to calm down, mh? Is everything... okay, overall?
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[Nagito has found bedding for it and made it perfectly. It's possible he found sheets exclusively so he could make the bed.]
The eyelid looks fine. [Nagito was able to get a look at that, at least.] And I already told him, but I'm going to clean that piece of your shirt Sunny-kun is using, but I'll give it back once I'm done. Whenever Sunny-kun is ready I'll take a look at the rest of it.
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Sunny attempts to give Kel a thumbs up. It's shaky, but... progress.
And then one word Nagito mentioned sinks in: bed.]
Ah...
[He lets out a small noise at the realization. Maybe if he could just... relax. Somehow. Then he wouldn't have to be here and...
The thought of that - the sheer possibility of it - has Sunny standing on shaky legs, the paper bag still clutched tight to his chest. Hopefully the others didn't have a problem with him pretty much flopping face-first onto said bed (was it Nagito's? Should he have asked? Too late to do so). They could have the chairs.
(The mattress was solid, not new, but it certainly didn't feel like it was broken in. No indents where there should be - either someone hadn't slept on this one or everyone was lighter when they were dead. The sheets made it bearable. 6/10)
Somehow the teen flipped over, going from beached whale to laying solidly on his back staring up at the ceiling. His right eye, the injured one, was closest to the edge of the mattress. That... should make it easier, right?
No explanation given though, and Sunny is just awkwardly laying there now...]
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[And he... listened. Nodding.The eyelid was fine, that was... better than he thought, but then again...]
It's not surprising, there were doctors... huh... handling it. They knew better than I do for sure.
[There were far too many memories of that night he wanted to push away, but knowing Sunny was in good hands had been... reassuring at least.]
And, wait. This one will not disappear so... if you want I can give another piece of shirt? I need to get a new one anyway but there are corners that are still decent and he may have a change? I'm just asking for his comfort here, really.
[And then Sunny is up, walking and... flopping in bed. He's silent for a couple of seconds and then lets out a small chuckle.]
Looks like someone claimed it already- which, honestly? its good to see.
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If you rip up much more of that shirt you might as well go around shirtless. [Nagito sounds amused by the idea.] Having two permanent covers would be a good idea, but someone could request an eyepatch from Ferryman-san instead, if you'd like to remain clothed.
[He sees Sunny has rolled over, which is good. It looks like the examination is still going to go forward.] You don't mind if I lean over you, do you? Back home, sometimes people would say I tended to, ah, "loom like a creepier Slenderman". [Thanks, Saionji-san.]
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for nowand Kel would probably proclaim that he was entering his ‘Tarzan era’ if a shirt wasn’t needed…]Eyepatch… [The whisper left him as his throat opened up, the bed already working its magic to relax his tense posture. An eyepatch might be cool… then he would look kind of like a space pirate… but wait, Sunny wasn’t cool enough for that! The idea was tempting though. He wouldn’t say no if someone
orderedstrongly suggested that it was a good idea.The teen nodded in consent for Nagito to continue his work, even if that thought alone had his heartbeat speed up again. Breathe. In and out. One, two, three, four. And repeat.
He still hadn’t opened his eye again.]
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I'm already looking for a replacement because this thing isn't going to stay up much longer. So much got showing my love for Omodog wherever I go...
[A big, overly dramatic sigh followed. Just to be silly and make a scene, nothing more, his shirt needed a change anyway... it was eventually going to fall apart.]
And... yeah. I can go ask for an eyepatch. Since it's not for me, maybe the Ferryman will give me something, actually. Note taken. Sunny, you're going to look like Spaceboy,but cooler!
[For the rest? He finally stepped in, crossing his arms and standing closer to the two. He... heard the doctors talk with
Herohis friend group. He knows about the eye being removed since it was too damaged, but he didn't see the wound past the intial night.]Hey buddy, need me to chatter around and offer a distraction?
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And he would always take Kel talking as a distraction. The sound of his friend’s voice was a comforting familiarity - even if 90% of what he said was going to fly straight in one of Sunny’s ears and out the other (sorry Kel).
So, in a way, the nod that followed was an invitation to both people present. He took a breath, trying to still his frantic heartbeat, and the voice that answered was small.] R-ready.
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[Okay. He... had to talk, then. It was... no bad. He could keep his mouth running and at least offer some kind of distraction- The teen stepped a bit closer, like the idea of seeing a wound that destabilized his dear friend so much he... did what he did? Like that didn't bother him at all.]
Well, let's see. I can talk of many things. Highschool, for example. I know you never really went to the big classes and, guess what? Good for you. HAH! It's just so boring. And people are getting weird. I like playing my video games, you know? And they talk about girls.
But speaking of girls, let me tell you all about a game where one of them absolutely kicked my ass at basketball. So, you see... it was a Faraway Town versus Distant Town friendly match and...
[And he talked. Talked about people Sunny never met, describing them and why he could remember them (a strong accent, a weird tic, an overly friendly attitude, being extremely good at something...) and how the game went. How this girl from Distant Town somehow managed to sweep the entire team and win the game even if the rest of her party wasn't that good or tall.
A rival? Kel does try to make it sound like that to add some weight to the whole thing, to add some... spice? Truth to be told he got his ass served on a silver platter and never saw her again, not that he tried to reach for the fellow player.
And Blah, blah and even more blahs...]
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Alright, Sunny-kun, open your eye, please.
[He doesn't say anything else, instead letting Kel do his job of distracting Sunny. Nagito doesn't think he'll have a lot of time to look things over, so it's best to focus.]
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CW: eye discussion and mild gore?, dissociation
Kel’s rival now had fancy sports shoes with little rocket boosters on the bottom, and Kel’s jumps defied gravity. An Orange Joe mascot may be cheering the entire game on (and simultaneously is the referee) from the sidelines. A bunch of Hectors and other Pet Rocks sit in the stands, silently celebrating when someone scores.
Sunny spaces out a bit, but that’s for the better. Nagito’s voice floats from somewhere above, a gentle prodding, and… Sunny opens his eye…
It… doesn’t look good. The socket isn’t infected, but it’s also little more than a sunken pit. The eye had to be removed, after all, and there are small cuts along the lid, presumably where the weapon used had nicked the edges.
Sunny doesn’t seem bothered though. If anything, he’s half-way between dozing and listening lazily.]
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When the eye open, he has to try his best not to turn away and keep his attention on him.
He heard the doctors. He heard what they said. He saw the uncovered eye when Sunny emerged from the water but this was the first time really... seeing it. Open, the closed wound exposed. He didn't even know what a 'full enucleation' meant, but it looked gross and painful. Still part of Sunny, he told himself, still something to treasure, but Kel couldn't just lock away everyhting and forget.
The teen clenched his fists, somehow managing to keep the chatter going in a mostly casual manner -he's talking about high school even more. About tests, how Kel is actually pretty good at science but history? Oh, history is BAD for him. All those names and dates. Chemistry is weirdly amusing, they learn things with experiments, he gets to *do* stuff, but literature? Names and names and names while sitting in a warm class.
Normal complains about normal teen stuff, right? Now that Sunny seems to be dozing off, lost in thoughts, at least Kel doesn't have to worry about keeping a smile on his face. What the hell was Basil even thinking? God...]
Oh, and once I managed to see someone completely burn off their own eyebrows during one of the experiments. We were supposed to see how stuff changed the color of flames and he got a biiit too close.
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cw: talking about empty eye sockets
It doesn't look infected, or particularly dirty. I believe that you're supposed to clean the eyelid, so make sure you're doing that. Just the outside, though! And if you're not going to have it stitched closed, my understanding is it's safer to have something inside the socket. One of you ask Ferryman-san about it, alright? It might be different given our situation.
[He's speaking in his standard soft, breathy voice, but that doesn't sound like a request. He's also mentally contemplating who would be best to stitch it closed, if that ends up being necessary. It's best if the Ferryman can simply make it happen. Otherwise--well, Nagito isn't fond of him, but Dankovsky is the best option, and Nagito isn't petty enough at the moment to ignore that fact.
He spares a glance at Kel only after he's done with his basic examination; he doesn't want Kel to faint or anything.]
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CW: more eye talk
He’s knocked out of it a bit by talk of ‘next steps.’ Sunny fidgets on the bed but… he isn’t panicking so much as he is wanting to delay the inevitable.
Neither option sounded pleasant. He can’t see Kel with how he’s laying, but still his hand grips the sheet beneath him like he’s subconsciously searching for support.
For someone else to make a decision for him. It would be so simple in Headspace - Omori hadn’t lost an eye, he wouldn’t ever, so he didn’t have to make that choice.
How lucky. It filled him with some form of jealousy, in a way.]
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Re: CW: more eye talk
[It's a genuine question, even if it's barely anything more than a whisper. He's doing his best not to faint, Nagito- it's not easy when he's never been used to this kind of stuff, but the last thing anyone needed was to handle Kel crashing down on the floor. His attention shifted to the way Sunny held onto the sheet and, even if he didn't dare move any closer? He did reach for the other's ankle, squeezing it. A small compromise not to directly get too close to Sunny's face but also offer support- oh, they're talking about (Well, Nagito is talking) what to do after?]
We actually checked! I... when Sunny was… rushed to the hospital. I- [There's a squint, he's not sure who...] I don't remember who, but me and Aubrey were running on adrenaline, she's a friend, and someone distracted us teaching us about eye stuff. Huh… I didn't think it mattered since we're ded bt I still remember something!
[It was Hero. Hero, who was studying to be a doctor, tried to reassure the two teens that while Sunny was probably going to lose his eye, things were going to be fine. He even gave suggestions and informations while they all say in the waiting room during a surgery that lasted Forever.]
Two days covered. We're past it. Should be kept clean, but he shouldn't lift heavy weights nor bend too much.. forward? There are ointments that should be put in the wound if it's still fresh but that doesn't… seem the case? Nor it seems like it needs to be drained? I'm… not exactly a doctor. Filling the socket isn't really necessary? More of a thing in case the eye socket or eyelids require support or protection, something like that.
[But thats not what matters in the immediate right? He does mumble something about being willing to go with sunny to the actual doctor if needed and he's back discussing pizza toppings, a special focus is on anchovies and how much Kel dislikes them...
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I do doubt we can get any infections, at least outside the Crossing itself. But we are doing a lot of physical activities, and we know the Crossings behave differently. [Even if the Ferryman intends to keep them safe, Nagito can't trust that they will always be able to. Sunny walking around with an extra hole in his head, even less protection than what an eye can provide, when something might attack him--
Ah, but he shouldn't say that out loud, should he?]
That's why Ferryman-san should have useful input on this situation. It could be I'm worrying about things that don't matter at all! [Nagito smiles at Sunny; as far as Nagito's emotional state goes, they could be discussing the weather right now. He's seen so much worse, this doesn't phase him. Catching Kel's pre-pizza mumblings, he adds:] But if you'd rather talk to someone else, I don't mind going with you as well.
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He couldn’t just… go to the Ferryman and ask why he didn’t have an eye, right…? Sunny knew that answer because it lay in his memories.
And yet…. Everyone around him seemed bothered by it for one reason or another.
Nagito’s calm helps Sunny keep calm though, and Kel’s continued talk allows him to distance himself (mentally) from the problem… for now.]
Mmmm. [The teen lets out a flat hum, half-avoidance, but… not an outright refusal. Having someone go with him to do… whatever they were talking about… was a lot less scary than facing it by himself.]
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Not that the sense of guilt got any less intense, of course... but only Frieda knew and Kel intended to keep it that way.]
The crossing itself is awful if you're not under the Ferryman's protection. but I want to hope the 'safety' means everyone is not going to get hurt or sick during the crossing. [A pause] This time I will be with the team, though, so if anything tries to attack Sunny's eye it'll have to face me first. Heh...
[He did not feel like laughing, it was as forced as soneone could imagine. When the chair hits the back of his legs, he does sit down, yet he refuses to let go of the other's ankle yet.]
Whatever Sunny or Mari want to do, they'll have my support. It's good to know he's got another reliable friend to help, right Sunsun?
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[Obviously nothing scavenged up by Nagito would be cool. That's just silly. But he can at least make it clean, so maybe that counts for something.]
As long as everything goes as expected, Crossing with Ferryman-san should be relatively safe. [But Nagito is used to things not going as expected. Still, it's better if Sunny and Kel can keep hoping for the expected situation, so he won't say anything directly about his concerns.]
From:
no subject
His friend’s grip on his ankle was like an anchor too. Sunny blinked, gaze almost bleary, as he slowly became away of his body again.
A shame, in its own sort of way.]
Going with… Ferryman… [There was no doubt of that, even if Kel’s support did leave Sunny feeling more relieved. Even if he didn’t deserve it… Kel was always a good friend to him.]
They’ll… keep us… safe…
From:
sticker time sticker time
From:
Sticker time! <3
A sticker. Of Makoto.]
From…Ferryman…?
[That’s the only place Sunny can think said stickers came from, unless Nagito found an electronic printer or something around here.]
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
There’s… so many…!
[And they were all so nice. Sunny looked down at his hand, where Nagito had placed the Encouraging Makoto sticker. He was never washing that hand again… except… Mari would probably be mad.
So, instead, he gently removed the sticker and placed it on the cover of his new notebook. There! Safe and secure.]
From:
no subject
From:
He's an ass and he won't apologize
The ghosts of afterlife must have delivered Chrismas presents wrong or something, but after trying both the 'I <3 Mari' (WAY too small) and 'I <3 Sunny' (WAY too embarrassing) shirts? He figures out who actually deserves them.]
Oh Suuuuunny- Where is my favorite Pet Rock champion?
[not him hopping near Sunny with both hands behind his back, hiding one of the shirts while the other has been tucked away. He'll go to Mari later.]
I got something for you, buddy-
From:
WHEEZE Kel is the greatest- XD (Also, finally got to use the icon labeled ‘oh no’)
Sure, he was adjusting to yet another new place, that was normal, but this utter sense of dread…
Oh no
That was all Sunny could think as Kel approached him with the brightest grin ever and…
what was he hiding behind his back?]
From:
Kel is channeling his gremlin vibes (also OH YES)
Oh, he and his sister were going to get matching shirts!]
Not so easy, buddy.
[Screw personal face, he moved right in front of the other and bent his back to be right in front of his face. The Grin? Not leaving his face. Not at all. The kind of face that made people want to bonk him on the head most of the time.]
Close your eye, Sunny. It's a surprise.
From:
He’s such a gremlin XD it’s perfect
As Kel leans in - personal space be screwed, Sunny is used to Kel doing such things, and knows that Kel would back off if Sunny really seemed uncomfortable - the teen feels cold sweat forming on his back.
This was why Sunny disliked surprises. They were things unexpected, things he couldn’t plan, and often required (fairly normal) expectations of him.
Still… with a nervous breath he nodded and did as told. The dark that came after closing his eye actually helped.]
From:
gotta bring in the spirit of Kel from the happier days!
Still, he waits, And when sunny is with his eye closed, Kel finally raises the shirt up, passing it around his head and trying to gently tug it down. Ah, it's just a tiny bit too large, isn't it? Well, better, Sunny should be able to wear it above his normal clothes, which is even better.]
Okay. Hands up, slide them where I guide you. I promise you'll love this, it feels like it was made just for you.
[Definitely not for Kel. There was something innately wrong in the idea of declaring any form of love to Mari without making it super clear it was platonic, like he was stepping in someone else's territory. If their crossing talk had anything to do with it, that had something to do with the Hero guy... right?
Still. 'I love Mari' shirt could only belong to one person.]
People around here are going to envy you and call you Mister Handsome, trust me.
From:
He’s perfect XD <3
Kel should be proud. Though the more his friend talked, the more concerned Sunny because until…
The shirt was on.]
U-um… [Was he allowed to open his eye and see what was happening? The teen fidgeted a bit in place, feeling somewhat awkward.
Why would everyone call him handsome? And be jealous of him? Would that be a problem? What exactly was happening???]
From:
Nah, Sunny's the perfect one. Or Mari. They're the perfect ones, at least in kel's eyes.
[Please do not mind Kel's tone, he's keeping his amusement as low as possible and his voice as neutral as he can humanly do. He's having fun, okay? And while he thinks the shirts are.... a bit too much? It's nice to have something to distract both himself *and* Sunny.]
You can look now.
[He takes a good step back, moving his fingers so they'll draw a big heart in front of himself. It's silly, but that black t-shirt with the obnoxiously bold letters printed on it? It's perfect. Truly perfect.]
Oh, and you're allowed to punch me. Just this once.
From:
I nearly died laughing while writing this, no regrets XD
Sunny opens his eye. He looks down…
What in the deepest darkest pits of Humphrey was he wearing…..???
Sunny’s expression went completely blank, the upside down letters sinking in. He glances at Kel, at the heart the other is making that mirrors the one on his new shirt, and…
The tips of his ears flush. He isn’t punching Kel, but both of Sunny’s hands are hiding his own face now in embarassment.]
….
[He has no words. Literally.]
From:
Kel is having a great time, sorry
His grin only widens as Sunny finally gets to see his shirt.
It's perfect, isn't it? If Kel had siblings? He feels like he'd be loud and proud about loving them, there's nothing wrong in what Sunny's wearing from his point of view. That being said, the other's reaction is priceless.]
Nooooo... don't hide your face, you're looking great! Should I dramatically swoon to convince you? I can do that, you know?
[He 'breaks' the heart by bringing both hands to his knees and bending forward a bit.]
Everyone will be so jealous! Because everyone loves Mari, but that's clearly your shirt. And you know the best part? She's got a matching one too!
[He lifts one hand up, tip of the finger doodling against the remains of his orange shirt.]
I. Love. Sunny. Heh.
From:
No apologies XD Sunny will love it… someday!
Wait that is right. He did care for Mari (even if he didn’t have any right to that feeling anymore, he felt), and everyone else seemed to be agreeable with her too, so maybe having the shirt wouldn’t be so bad…?
(As long as he could get over his embarrassment, that is.)
But then Kel mentioned that-
Mari had a matching shirt.
Probably with his face on it. With the words ‘I love Sunny’ on it. And that fact has him hiding his face all over again in embarrassment and… guilt?
It swam hot in his stomach, an eerie echo in his head.
I love you, Sunny.
Something had followed him within that space, imploring, begging, sickeningly sweet - those words repeated over and over and-
OK, maybe he might be hiding for more than his embarrassed sibling nature right now.]
From:
Somday indeed. Also, oof, poor Sunny :(
It was subtle, considering the other was hiding his face and all, but it was enough to give the other teen pause and, even if Kel wasn't exactly sure of what he brought up that was wrong... he at least lowered his tones.
Perhaps Sunny still had to properly process the fact he was... tied to Mari's death?
Perhaps bringing her in the discussion had been a mistake? Not really sure on how to tackle this, Kel merely stepped closer once more, lifting both hands up and trying to place his palms against the back of his friend's hands.]
It's okay to have people loving you, you know?
[A lower tone, calmer. He meant Mari and Mari specifically but having a more general approach felt more appropriate given... everything.]
And there's nothing embarrassing in loving and being loved. Even if the shirts are a bit on the bolder and louder side than you're probably used to.
From:
This tag T.T <3
She still loved him. She shouldn’t. It was all his fault. And yet some part of him, deep down, still craved for the days that they spent together.
It had been a mistake. It was still his fault.
That soft touch, as well as Kel’s gentle tone, had the way Sunny froze slowly start to unravel. If Kel tried to move Sunny’s hands, the teen would let him - the expression underneath a mixture of something vulnerable and scared.
He was scared, if he allowed himself to name the feeling. The idea that he could be alone here, if people found out how horrible he really was (if he would be truly alone here, as even the friends inside his head weren’t paying him visits) was terrifying.
It was ok to be loved? To love? Sunny didn’t deserve that though. He couldn’t shake his head, didn’t want to go so far as to physically deny it - that would raise questions, wouldn’t it? Questions he had no idea how to answer - so he remained silent, his gaze shifting every so often, still filled with that fear.]
From:
Poor Sunny... ç_ç
It had to be a big weight on his shoulders if he was, as Kel heavily suspected, the reason Mari died in the first place. How a murder was staged was... not something he understood, perhaps Sunny's parents put it up as a cover for the sake of protecting their only remaining son? Maybe Basil knew something about it and that's why he fully withdrew after the incident? He had so many questions but...
right now helping his friend was the priority, even if Kel suspected that Sunny was even worse than him at processing his own feelings.]
Hey...
[He offered a small, warm smile in face of that fearful expression, leaning further down just to be on same eye level of Sunny. Something told him 'you don't have his warmth', but Kel didn't know who 'him' was, nor he could focus on what he was missing right now.
Time to... try his best?]
I know... I know it's scary. And I know there is a lot that still has to be said, especially between you two, but...
[He raised one hand, caressing the other's cheek
Like he did so many times when Sally was upset. His mind forgot, but his heart didn't..]You two love each other deeply and that's something everyone can see. And people love you, Sunny. I love you. Aubrey loved you too, even if she was hurting during those last days... [No mention of Basil, not yet. He just doesn't know what went wrong that night.] And so many people in Faraway did too.
Whatever happens. And whatever happened. I promise it's going to be okay. I'll do my best to make sure of that. [A pause.] Do you want me to hug you?
From:
He’s got so much trauma T.T
The hospital room overflowing with flowers and well wishes.
The fact that the
questssmall acts of kindness he did had left an impact on people.He didn’t know any of that, so all he could do was half-heartedly nod in agreement.
But… Mari did love him. Kel did. Aubrey… did? She did. And Hero, too, his bright smile as he made breakfast (a breakfast of which Sunny hadn’t eaten, but could appreciate the sentiment, he supposed). Basil… Basil was such a tug of war, as always. Sunny cared for him, he was his friend, but at the same time… he couldn’t get over the memory of being in that room.
…Aaaand he was probably sitting there thinking about this for way too long, spacing out and worrying his friend that was present.]
…small… one… [Small hugs were ok. Sunny was used to Kel’s energetic touch, which might be a bit too much right now but… a small amount was alright.]
From:
Yeah, poor poor dear :(
Kel and Aubrey got to hold each other while barely being able to process what actually happened in Basil's house, they got to talk about it, they both watched over their friends as they slept after... all that happened. And they both got to see a sea of people walk in Sunny's room to bring in flowers.
The Hooligans had been the first ones. Kel was almost shocked to see Mikhael without his stupid wig and Charlene brought in so many things for everyone, a true caretaker. Then there was Cris, bringing in flowers from her family and standing by Kel's side the most- she had been such a wonderful friend. A shame Sunny barely got to know her.
And then Joy, Brent, the two lovely newlyweds- everyone in their little corner of Town just coming in with presents and well wishes. What was heartbreaking was how sterile Basil's room was in comparison, but both Kel and Aubrey's feelings toward Basil had been so confusing in that short period of time they just didn't find themselves doing much more.
Still, no time to focus on other stuff right now. Kel just had to look at Sunny to feel how... smaller the other felt compared to other teens their ages. And not just Physically. Between an empty fridge and an empty house, he couldn't help but wonder how lonely and lost the other had been since the incident, how mcuh that influenced his thoughts too, and just- feel protective.
If Sunny's mom couldn't bother to show up during his hospital stay, exactly like Basil's parents, then Kel was going to do his best to let Sunny understand he was worth of love. Even if, from Kel's understanding, some horrible things happened because of him.]
Okay, small one. You just tell me if I need to step back, mh? Or pinch my stomach, if words don't come out, I'll back off.
[He was careful and strangely gentle as he wrapped his arms around the other, pulling him closer and letting his face rest against his chest. At least it allowed Kel to drop his smile for a moment and not pay attention to his own facial expressions, that was helpful.
He... wasn't good at words, but he had to try.]
You know... feelings are quite the irrational thing. We can't fully control them, even when we try, and sometimes they can feel overwhelming. I can tell you have some strong bad ones tucked inside- [And he knew it was probably coming from... guilt? From what he did to his sister?] When they get too bad, try to remember that you're worth loving, no matter what happened that makes you feel that way.
[Would he have been able to have a similar conversation with Basil? Post... incident? He didn't know, he wanted to believe he truly loved his friends but feelings in that sense were still a complete mess. Fortunately enough, both Basil and Aubrey were still alive so it was not something he had to worry about in the immediate.]
From:
/cries, also good job Kel, you avoided his knee jerk reaction
A moment of anger
A deciding solitude
The opening of a door
A moment of panic-
All of it, split second feelings that led to something that changed the course of his life.
He couldn’t have known, didn’t see or smell or hear the well wishes, that people cared that much even though he had stayed in his room for four years and was moving away soon-
He nodded against Kel’s chest. As always, the other was giving him a way out. A pinch would be easier, probably hurt less (emotionally) for both of them if it came to that but for now… it was quiet and safe and Kel’s arms were like walls blocking out the rest.
(Even if Sunny’s viewpoint still had him looking down at his new shirt.)]
M’kay. [It was a noise of agreement, a half word, and then Sunny was listening. Listening as Kel talked in that familiar yet calm cadence. He froze at that admission - you have some strong bad ones tucked inside - but forced himself to relax.
Sunny did have too many feelings locked away. He normally didn’t show them, even Before, but they were always there - lurking beneath the surface, waiting to make themselves known—
Split second decisions.
A small voice inside Sunny whispered. You don’t understand. What I did. I’m not worth it.
He squashed it down, shoved it back inside that sterile room, and whispered his own defiance.]
…will try…
[Even if it was a lie…]
From:
Can't escape when you're between Kel's arms, Sunny. All hope is lose.
There was no turning back and he at least knew Sunny enough to understand the other wasn't some kind of evil creature, nor he had a real intention to hurt anyone. Their lives had just been a string of... unfortunate incidents.]
Mhm...
[He could feel the other tense up and then relax at his words, and... Kel had to admit it. He didn't know what else to do beside reassuring and reassuring Sunny. He didn't do it enough in Faraway and it landed them in the afterlife, so... maybe this was going to help?
Maybe Sunny needed to know that no matter what, he was going to stay loved? Still, he couldn't bring himself to say 'hi, I think I know what happened with Mari' out loud. Everything was miserable as possible already... all he could offer to Sunny was support.
He didn't even know why he hesitated before reaching for the other's head, gently scratching it. This was no real 'friends' stuff between boys, this was siblings stuff level and he had always been a single child so... this was unexplored territory, right? Even with someone like Sunny he always cuddled when they were kids.]
I know you're trying your best, Sunny. I see you... [He closed his eyes for a moment, being careful in how he modulated his tone. He was the older one, he had to sound stable and confident.] And I will be honest with you. I come from... further down the line than you. Or, well, I've been awake while you were not so I have- I had- [A talk with Mari.] Time to process feelings. Emotions. How much I love my friends.
[Maybe, if Sunny felt confident enough, he'd... choose to talk?]
I know things got... intense back home. That being said? I promise you there's nothing you can do or say that will make me stop caring about you. So... if you're struggling? Please, know I'll always be here to listen, kay? And to remind you how loved you are, eeeeeven if I think you'd have to be blind not to notice how everyone in our group already took a shine on you.
From:
Don’t let Nagito hear you say that XD
A string of unfortunate incidents, indeed.]
‘Further… down the… line’…?
[It was a confusing string of words but… did Kel mean to say he knew things that Sunny didn’t? He… guessed that would make sense. Sunny’s own perception had cut off once he’d started losing blood - once the shears had left his eye - so… maybe trauma just had him forgetting.
Again.
But Kel sounded confident, so who was Sunny to interrupt with his own fears?
At least… Kel seemed to have figured things out. (Whatever that might be.)]
I… know… [It was small reassurance. Kel would stick by him (even if Sunny still feared the look on his friend’s face if he ever found out the Truth), and… that small declaration had him almost breathing some form of amusement through his nose. Everyone… cared for him? But they seemed to…
Sunny pulled back from the hug and pointed to his wrapped eye.] Already… half-blind… [Did that count as a joke. Still, Kel’s point came across.]
From:
It's okay, it's not the worst kind of defeat- right?
Huh... back home. I came here a week after you...
[Got hurt. He dosn't even know how to put those words out without bringing up Basil in any way...]
It was an intense one. Heh... believe it or not, me and Aubrey even spent a night together, hugging like we were ten again. There was a lot going on. [A pause. If... Sunny was not in favor of talking maybe Kel had to try? Something inside him churned around just a bit, it was unfair that he was the one always having to try, but as soon as he realized it was his own fear talking it was easy to silence it.] And after that week, we both came here. Wel, you and me. Aubrey is still home.
[Just... say it. Just... do it.]
She was in Basil's hospital room the last time I saw her. I want to believe they at least have each other now.
[It felt like wind had just been knocked out of his guys, but at least... he took that dangerous step. Not that he wanted to talk about how the two of them died, but at least he could bring up the only good thing? Two of their friend group of five were still alive
And Hero... too. But Kel couldn't remember.]Heh... [Good lord, Kel knew far too well Sunny was half blind but that didn't make it easy to smile when he pointed it out. So much for a moment of laughing at a stupid t- shirt.] I know. But you still got one whole eye to look around you and seehow many people love you, silly.
From:
CW: eye would description, blood
A whole week… Aubrey had stayed too, which meant… things were alright now? And Basil… that meant he was ok, right? If he was in the hospital.
But… Sunny didn’t remember that… he remembered the pain from his eye and the warmth of blood leaking down his face, the sudden jolt of terror that led to a lightheadedness and then… falling in the River.
Had he… been asleep for a week? Had he died in his sleep and not realized it? Then why had his ‘death’ been so painfully relived in the River…?
The thought was making Sunny’s head swim, and suddenly he was glad that Kel was there as a physical support in case he passed out again.
Sunny blinks again, the joking laugh bringing him back.
Focus on that.]
One… eye… [There was a joke, somewhere, locked away in his head, but Sunny couldn’t bring himself to dredge it up from his clouded conscious.]
From:
CW: wound description, fight talk, blood, suicide
Things were so not alright, otherwise Basil wouldn't have stabbed Sunny, right? And Sunny wouldn't have jumped down.
Kel remembered the rush to Basil's room once they heard Sunny's body hit the floor, he could remember holding Sunny's body after pushing Basil away from him, Aubrey trying to calm the blonde boy down despite the horror and panic of the moment and Polly taking the lead in stopping the bleeding and helping them wait for the ambulance.
Kel had been covered in blood, but his mind refused to acknowledge that more than needed.
If asked, though? He'd just assume that Sunny only remembered up to a certain point so that's how he rememebred his death, hell if he had any answer.]
Yeh. Like Spaceboy. And, like him, you have a very devoted crew. [A pause.] I'm just... sorry. We were asleep and we didn't hear anything.
[There's a reason if now, that his body no longer needs it, Kel has been awake non stop. There are many reasons the guilt won't go away. Man, how did they get there from laughing around about a shirt?]
From:
Just continuing the CWs as they keep talking/processing
Maybe in his dreams, he might be the main character with Spaceboy starring every so often in a cameo, but here…
Sunny was Sunny. He wasn’t cool or strong or brave. He could just be who he was.
And where Kel had been kept up by the events of that night, Sunny had been indulging in his own ignorance and rest. Again. And again. And again.
The teen shakes his head at the apology. Indeed how had they gotten to this point?]
Not… your fault… I chose… to try and help…
[That’s what he had been doing, right? After that awful nightmare (remembrance), when the Truth had laid itself bare amidst a photo album stained with blood and the long shadows of his backyard, Sunny had felt compelled to go to Basil.
To talk about what had happened, maybe. About what they hid. To save his friend, more importantly.
But Sunny had failed at both of those. That’s why he was here, right, instead of in a blissful nothingness?
But… then why was Kel here? Why would Mari be here like that Incident had happened just the other day? It must be him - his sins and secrets weighing them down with him.
”Although they are revived time and again, the most haunting stay in this world…”
Maybe his dreams had the right idea…]
From:
YEp. CWville over here. + bully related stuff + drowning risk + character death + suicide talk
This was... a difficult conversation to have, as a whole, and... help?
The teen found himself opening his mouth a couple of times before being able to process that new bit of information- help...]
Were... you trying to help him? That's what happened back there?
[Was Basil's accident unrelated to Sunny's... situation? He knew the other had been bullied for a while, even if kel found out about that pretty much only when Sunny did (He did spend time with Jay and Cris and other people, they weren't exactly in Basil and Aubrey's circles), andthat his grandmother passed out the same day Sunny lost his eye. The kind boy didn't even tell Polly about that, she found out later from a call from his parents, he just- chose solitude.
And... oh.
Oh.]
Was he... at risk of getting hurt?
[With Sunny jumping from the top of a hospital, hallucinations or not, now Kel wonderedif what Sunny tried to do was. trying to stop Basil from doing something equally stupid. His two friends were pretty broken, huh? It was difficult to figure out what to say next, so he merely pulled Sunny closer once more, trying to let im rest his forehead against his chest. No need to see Kel's face, not right now.]
You shouldn't have been alone, but saying you how sorry I am won't change anything so...
I... thank you, Sunny. For trying your best.
From:
ALL THE CWs
It was a hard question too.
One that Sunny had felt deeply himself, had he not escaped into his dreams, and even then… before those three days back home, he might have been content to spend the rest of his life in such a state.
But Basil…
Sunny nods, hesitant and small.]
I… think… [He had entered to talk, to attempt to at least, and Sunny had seen the sheers-
Everything will be okay.
-except it wasn’t. Basil had felt trapped into an inescapable pit, surely, one that Sunny had inadvertently helped dig.
If- if he couldn’t save his friend… he at least figured… maybe dying to try and do so wasn’t so bad…
After all…]
Can’t… my… fault… [He couldn’t save Basil, could he? Not by himself. Not as himself. But Kel had said that both of them had made it to the hospital so that… couldn’t for something, right?
Except for the fact that Sunny had ended up here, and Basil surely was feeling all sorts of things about that…
Just like Sunny had.
He didn’t deserve thanks from Kel. Even if the other meant well… even if Basil had been saved… it was still all his fault.]
From:
Even more of them, if possible
His family, his non blood related family, sure was all messed up. And he was probably messed up as well.
At the nod, he merely leant forward, placing a kiss on the top of someone who felt like a hurt kid now. Sunny tried to help Basil, Basil perhaps knew something he wasn't supposed to, his grandma died and.... everything went to hell.]
For what it's worth... Aubrey is with him. And Polly, even if she's no longer officially employed- she says she's going to do her best not to leave his side.
[He wanted to be angry with Basil for what happened to Sunny, he probably still was to some degree, but overall the whole situation just felt depressing. And it was in part Kel's fault for not realizing what was going on.
If only he paid better attention to all the small things...]
Ah... [Sunny's fault? Kel blinked before staring in silence to the side for a moment, still trying to keep the other close enough so Sunny would be unable to look up at him. Hard to keep up a smile while discussing certain things...] I... [He knew about Mari. He didn't know a lot of other things. Sunny didn't know what Kel knew or didn't knew, though, and this bit of conversation was subtly telling him Basil was at least... involved to some degree? Or was he reading too much into it? The flower boy did completely retreat after the incident, after all and- ah shit.
Any reply was a gamble. Say 'not your fault' could probably push Sunny to hold his own fears back... right? Consoling him would maybe have the same effect. Acknowledging any fault could hurt him, though, and he still didn't know what ent down in that room. This was... difficult.]
I... [A pause. This was going either to push Sunny away or break things between them but, hey, it wasn't like Kel could play dumb in the middle of a conversation like this. He wasn't book smart, but he could at least understand people..] I know.
[And no way back from that. Saying that anxiety was rising in his chest would be a massive understatement.
I made some ugly mistakes too, though. No one is free of blame and... for what it's worth? I forgive you.
[For what? He wasn't even completely sure yet. For Mari, yes, but he lacked details beside the fact she had an argument with Suny and then died. For Basil? He didn't even know how Sunny was responsible. He wasn't certain of anything but sometimes one had to roll and pretend he knew a lot more than he did.]
From:
1/3 (OK, snowball activated, I’m so sorry Kel ^^’)
And oh, good, Basil would still have Aubrey and Polly and Hero.
And…]
From:
2/3 (CW: mention of suicidal ideation)
Kel’s words sunk in.
‘I know.’
Know… what? What did he mean by that, Sunny hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary.
Did he mean that Kel was more aware of Sunny’s mental state? His propensity to zone out and dissociate? His lack of motivation and wanting to live and-
Sunny’s gaze, in that moment, focused on the shirt he now wore.]
From:
3/3
Mari wouldn’t.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO-
Sunny shoved against Kel’s chest, desperate to put any amount of distance between them, feeling like he couldn’t breathe.
He wasn’t strong, but adrenaline had the motion much more forceful than anything the teen had done so far. Maybe Kel was even caught off guard, since he had been so lax.
He couldn’t know- he couldn’t!
To be forgiven? Making ugly mistakes??
This wasn’t as simple as that! It was a mistake, but it had cost them all, and it was All His Fault-]
From:
no subject
while he let the other push him away, the immediate 'he's going to get lost in this hellish wet place' had Kel bolt forward and try to grab the other's wrist. He just had to keep him in place, not immediately trying to push him back in a hug.
He didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to process this, but Sunny was feeling guilty for something and Mari at least gave him enough info to figure out that there was some kind of accident while she and Sunny were fighting. The Basil part was a lot more confusing but Sunny didn't need to know how many questions Kel still had.
Thank god he never told Sunny the reason they both died was because Kel had not been fast enough and because Sunny wandered on the roof in the first place.]
Don't- Look at me, Sunny. Do you think you have to run away from me??
[He was literally bulshitting his way in the conversation, but it seemed like his emotional intelligence was at least allowing him to keep up with the whole thing. He... what was he supposed to say?
Hell, he didn't know. He threw himself in trying to console the other and now they were... somewhere. Somewhere highly unpleasant for both. All he knew was that he didn't want Sunny to look at him like that, with fear in his eyes- that actually made him angry, which wasn't easy to hide.]
Don't you really know how stubborn I can be when it comes to you?
[Or Mari. Or Basil.
Or Hero. He could let people step on him, but when it came to the people he loved? He was always up to fight.]From:
3… (Feel free to respond, countdown is for me ^^)
(Not that Something, but it was equally as important. Actually, Sunny would have preferred Kel hitting the latter even if it meant having to explain the fact that he was haunted by a scary Something that changed shapes.)
Kel catches his wrist, and that grip is like a vice. All of Sunny’s lingering attention latches onto that-
He’s shaking his head frantically, tugging at his trapped arm like he’s in some sort of cage.
Kel’s voice echoes in and out of his hearing, distorted, like through a fog or some sort of filter. It should be reassuring.
Except this wasn’t about Kel. It wasn’t about how much Kel cared for his friends, stuck by Sunny even though he didn’t deserve it-
He wasn’t wanting to run from Kel, not really, but he wants to run from himself.]
From:
no subject
Kel didn't expect a shirt to bring in a conversation that would snowball like this, but there wasn't exactly a 'turn back' point, not anymore. There was plenty of regret as he still held Sunny there, keeping him just within arm distance, not sure if it was better to pull him back into a hug, to let him know with Kel's best love language that everything was unchanged between them, but he also knew it could be overwhelming.
What... what could he even say or do?]
I... [Sunny was his family, even if things were messy and awful. Sunny was someone who was apparently living with more ghosts than Kel imagined if his suicide and his current reaction were anything to go by.] I love you.
[A sentence made to be reassuring. Probably overdone by that point, considering kel was very vocal about how much he loved the siblings, but this time it had a lot more intent behind it. It tried to convey a whole 'I know things are awful, but you're forgiven and still loved'-
little did he know a ghost in Sunny's blackest parts of the brain repeated that sentence nonstop and only brought him trauma in such way. Little did he knew the other was not really seeing him anymore.]
Whatever you're thinking, just know that I know, I did for a while now, and I still love you.
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2… CW: we be spiraling down mentally~
‘I know’ ‘I love you’
No one was supposed to know- that was the whole point! They wouldn’t love him if they did, wouldn’t understand that it was an accident, all because Sunny just couldn’t have time to breathe or calm down or think-
It was a lie. Love was a lie. They don’t. They couldn’t.
For a while? How long had Kel known? Pretended to care? Had Mari been pretending this whole time? Had something happened and Sunny was now just living in another idealized daydream where they still cared-?
The thought had him tugging on his wrist harder, the motion sending a wince through him at the jolt of pain there.]
From:
Kel is trying his best and making the worst possible choices like a boss~
Was this similar to what Basil experienced, perhaps? Suddenly he felt like he could understand him a lot more, even if stabbing Sunny- God. Kel knew he was bad at his own feelings but right now all he could write himself as was 'miserable' and 'uncertain'. Every step he took was the wrong one.
Sunny was trying to run away and he just... couldn't let him go. Not now, not in that state. But communication seemed to be broken for now, right?
The only thing he could do was to wait for Sunny to calm down, even if it meant forcing him to stay there against his will. Ah... maybe the other was going to hate him now, fantastic. Still, he held the wrist a bit more and pulled the other closer, trying to pick him up between his arms like when he delivered him to Mari. This time? Simply trying to keep him there and maybe aiming to find a place where they could both wait... this out. Whatever this was.
It was okay if Sunny was going to be angry at him, Kel deserved it fully especially after failing to save him, but for now his safety was the most important thing.]
From:
1… He’s doing his best T.T Sunny’s just at his worst
None of those things happened.
Ke’s grip on his wrist wasn’t giving, and now the other was pulling Sunny towards him attempting to lean down and scoop him up with one arm under his legs and-]
No! [It was he only utterance Sunny had actually let out, full of fear and defiance and he just knew he wanted to be anywhere but here-!]
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Kel noticed THAT at least.
Hell, he had not heard him talk in such a way in- well, never. The tone was so different from the soft spoken kid he once knew and the very gentle speaking teen he met four years later.
This was bad.
And Kel didn't know how to fix it. Perhaps another approach would work? Another one showing a bit more of Kel's own insecurities? Hell if he knew, right now he was trying different approaches, the only thing that didn't change was the fact Kel was not letting go of the other.]]
I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I didn't want to upset you.
From:
0 CW: panic attack symptoms (Congrats, the shirt is saved!)
Kel was apologizing, and Sunny wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault. It was Sunny’s fault. He just couldn’t figure out how to put that into words, the frantic gasps leaving him unable to speak, his heartbeat was too loud, he was Stressed Out, and—]
…!
[Sunny passed out.
Good thing Kel actually had some form of a grip on Sunny; the teen suddenly dropped like a deadweight.
A physical examination shows that he’s simply some form of asleep, any panic that he had felt was wiped from his face, his breaths soft and even.
…what do?]
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Ah, yeah, I'm sure that's the only thing Kel was concerned about.
There's something about Sunny and falling that by association causes Kel's stomach to close off. It's irrelevant if his knees would scrape against the floor or he would get hurt, the instinct is 'stop the fall'.
He did fail that once and the guilt is never leaving him. Guilt ramps up once more, not only he is the real reason Sunny is death but now a gift managed to turn everything into a mess. He's almost glad when he realizes Sunny is unconscious because there's no need to keep up a brave facade, nor to act like it doesn't matter if he'll never see his parents, his dog and his friends ever again. He doesn't have to act like it's okay if they're losing themselves at every step, he can just let himself go for a moment.
He shifts his position, crossing his legs and letting Sunny rest on the like he was a child cradled by a father, and with the arm that's not supporting his friend... the hand moves up, covering his face, as he allows himself to silently weep for a moment. Everything is just so much and while he has to be back in fighting state by the time the other is 'back' (and, god, who knows what Sunny will do or act like), Kel needs a moment to be just himself.]
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He spends a few moments standing there, uncertain. Sunny is apparently unconscious, Kel looks miserable. He attempts to channel Hajime or Chiaki or Makoto. He wishes, not for the first time, that Makoto would come back already. If Nagito knew where Makoto was, that's who he'd get. But it's just him.]
Are you both alright? Physically, I mean.
[Makoto or Hajime or Chiaki would be able to come up with something better to say than that. But it's just him.]
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He's fine. We're fine.
[He does not sound fine. Its not like he feels like the worst possible friend in existence and just relived, even if just for a second, Sunny's final fall that got them both there.]
We just... had a moment. He's resting now.
[And Kel shows no intention of moving away, at least for now.]
From:
shows up late with starbucks frapps in both hands
He ignores Nagito's presence and rushes up to the two as fast as his three legs will carry him.
"Kel?" He asks, face twisted with worry. He puts a hand on Kel's back- he might not be the most socially concious, but even he can tell that Kel isn't going anywhere for a moment. From here Sunny looks fine, at least, though he'll want to take a look in a bit.
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Do you want to put Sunny-kun into a bed?
[Or they could stay here. Should he even be here? Makoto, Hajime, or Chiaki would stay. So he'll stay.]
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Right. He's worrying others. He shouldn't.]
I'm fine. We're fine.
[He repeats in the doctor's direction. Things are not fine. Sunny is a mess and Kel doesn't know how to help, but what can he even say the others?]
We just... talked. We'll be fine. We're physically perfectly fine, after all, what can even happen to us here?
[He's smiling but it doesn't reach his eyes. The simple question about putting Sunny into a bed? He's not even answering that, his legs feel so heavy so he'd rather not move. Hell, his entire body feels like a boulder at the moment.]
Sorry, you two shouldn't be worried. Teen drama stuff, you know?
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"I'm sure it's nothing." Daniil goes along with Kel, being dishonest, mostly to not hurt his feelings. He's hardly convincing, "But just in case, will you let me take him inside? I'm certain he won't want to wake outside on the cold hard ground."
He gives Nagito another look. Dankovsky won't be able to carry Sunny alone, he'll need his help, regardless of if the Bachelor likes it or not.
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[He re-made some of them, even, to his own particular neat specifications.]
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Can't you just. Give me. A second?
[He doesn't quite sound angry but his tone is stern. He's not trying to attack anyone, but not only Sunny is on the floor because of him but this unconsciously brings back how his parents kept pushing him, back then, because Hero needed attention... and any moment Kel cut to be upset for himself was unnecessary.
Feelings be damned, though, right? He's at least aware his anger toward the other two is unwarranted and, after taking a deep breath in, he's back to his usual self, nodding.]
'kay. Let's bring him inside, mh? I am sure Sunny does love beds, heh.
[Worry not, Dankovsky, no one's gotta step in to help carrying Sunny. It's not easy, but Kel wraps both arms around the other, supporting him from behind his back and from under his knees, and forces himself back up (not without struggling a bit and letting out a grunt). He's not letting Sunny go for the moment and that's clear. There's just... one thing.]
Just... don't tell Mari for now, mh? I don't want her to get upset over nothing.
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He can tell it means something to him, so he simply follows behind, ready to help if need be.
"Of course, nothing happened worth telling her, after all." He reassures Kel. Sunny looks fine after all, no bleeding, hopefully he'd wake up like nothing happened.
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Nagito follows along, keeping his distance easily. He's more used to that than he is sticking close.]
Whatever Kel-kun thinks is best.
[Which also means that if Kel wants to be left alone once they've gotten Sunny settled, that's fine, too. But Nagito does at least want to follow Kel and Sunny far enough to make sure Sunny is in bed.]
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He's not letting go. This is all he has left to protect and try to save and, no matter what hell trhows at them, he's not leaving Sunny or Mari. It just hurts so much that he knows he's the main source of pain for the other this time around.]
Yeah, nothing happened. I guess. You know how we teens are, right? All drama, all things full force, I guess I was too intense for Sunny. Heh. All my fault. He'll be fine.
[And, in a move that's more Hero's brand than Kel's, he does turn his head just slightly, resting his cheek on the top of the other one's head. It's not to comfort Sunny, it's to comfort himself even if it may look differently.]
Beds it is, Nagito! He loves testing mattresses, you know? When we were kids he used to rate the softness of things and he alwas complained my bed was 'too crowded', rating varying from two to four whenever we took a nap there. I loved keeping toys on it...
[He seems ready to follow, atleast, but the pointless conversation doesn't carry any actual humor in it.]